Thursday, November 19, 2015

Fear and Response After Paris

 Do you remember the hysteria surrounding Ebola? – The political Right calling for closing airports and air flights, denying entry to all from Africa, quarantining anyone who might have been suspected – even though the NIH was assuring us all was medically under control? Of course the epidemic was properly contained. So, a week later, where was the apology from those pundits that were certain that the epidemic was going to sweep through the U.S.? Where was the embarrassment from those “experts” that all their fear mongering and inducement of panic was for naught? After all, they got on TV. They got on talk radio. They cast Obama in a bad light for a couple of days. They influenced what was highlighted in political “Talking Point” memos. That’s all they wanted. No apology. No embarrassment. No sense of responsibility for scaring most of us half out of our wits. Use the political moment. Manipulate it. Drop it when it’s over. Wait for the next opportune “crisis.” That seems to be the pattern – both on the Right and the Left.
Today the House passed a bill stopping the immigration of Syrian refugees. I remember several times when, following a mass shooting and calls for gun safety legislation, lawmakers would say, “Even though the public is horrified, let’s wait a while. We shouldn’t act in haste and in the spur of the moment.” Why isn’t this treated the same way? Other than quick political capital, I have no idea.
I am trying to keep that recent Ebola episode of false panic and knee-jerk political response in mind as the tragedy in Paris unfolds.
The following is an article written by Rabbi Michael Lerner I received in an email Thursday (11/19). [Copyright © 2015 Network of Spiritual Progressives®. Rabbi Michael Lerner, 2342 Shattuck Avenue, #1200, Berkeley, CA 94704]. I am still out of town. Although I hadn’t planned on sending a message this week, it is too important not to. Although I don’t necessarily agree with all Lerner’s suggestions, I am quoting extensively from his article. Go to their website [www.spiritualprogressives.org] and subscribe to their emails and magazine. It always provides good and thoughtful information.
Try to remember, if you find yourself in an argument about any of this, always ask the Holy Spirit to guide your response – what to say, what not to say, or if you need to say anything at all. Then quiet your mind and listen for His whispers. The loud voices you hear are those of your own ego.
I have seen on social media and heard from friends the depth of fear that is permeating our society since the attacks in Paris. Seeing and hearing the stories of Parisians who were impacted by the attacks is bringing the violence home in a way that is similar to 9-11. The media is bringing the lives and sorrows of Parisians into our homes with interviews, photos and stories of their lives. This pierces the veil of security and safety in ways that the children washing up on the shores of Europe, starving children around the world and bodies in Beirut did not do. When our government is sending drones into communities, dropping bombs in far away lands, and supporting economic policies and sanctions that create daily suffering and death around the globe, it does not pierce our sense of safety because we can easily (and even realistically) tell ourselves this will not happen to us. We will not be the target of a drone strike or a U.S. bomb and we fail to see the connection between U.S. economic policies on the daily suffering around us as clearly as an attack of the magnitude we saw in Paris.  It is as if you can imagine, as one friend said, “Coming soon to a café or theater near you.” 
So what do we do? How do we respond? Can we really be safe in a world in which violence seems to be the only response to violence? And if so, how? What would you do if someone entered a theater and started shooting? (I want to acknowledge that the likelihood of being killed by a young white man at a school or in a movie theater, or by a drunk driver or in a random car accident, or, if you are African American by a police officer is far greater than the likelihood of being killed by Daesh [ISIL/ISIS] and yet at this particular moment, that is what is most terrifying.)
I want to explore what underlies this fear, how the Right (and even the hawks on the Left) capitalize on this fear to push their pro-war, pro-weapons agenda and how we might respond in the face of knowing that ultimately there is no way to protect ourselves from random acts of violence anymore then there is a way to protect ourselves from random accidents.
When tragedies like Paris (I am focusing on Paris, not to minimize the tragedies in Beirut, Syria, Iraq, Kenya, but instead as an acknowledgement that it wasn’t until the attacks in Paris, or attacks in the U.S., that the veil of safety was shattered) happen, we feel horrified, terrified and often enraged. One of the reasons it impacts us more powerfully than the other places I mentioned above is because many of us could imagine us sitting in a café or being at a concert in Paris (or we can easily imagine that if it can happen in Paris, it can happen in our own backyard). And so we, understandably, get very scared and we want to know what we can do to protect ourselves and be safe.
What is being triggered is our own sense of vulnerability and powerlessness. We all have a desire to have some say and power over our lives and our destiny, over how we will live and die.  What happened in Paris, in some profound way, got under our skin so to speak and powerfully and violently reminded us of how very fragile and vulnerable we really are.… And when that happens, we have to confront our fear, our impotence, our vulnerability and ultimately our powerlessness.
How do we do that? Naturally we respond by wanting to lash out, to defend, to create safety for ourselves, to try to figure out how we could be safe if, God forbid, a shooting or a suicide bomber came to a theater or café near us.… This fear permeates us at a cellular level. It is a natural and primal response to terror.
And the Right and hawks on the Left are capitalizing on that fear, by rallying for more weapons, more bombs, more destruction, and ultimately more war…. I have to ask, do they really believe that more bombs will build a safer world? They’ve been dropping bombs for years and still the world is not safe. And the double standard, while not surprising, is disturbing nonetheless. When France, the U.S. and Western countries kill hundreds of innocent people that is not terror, but when Daesh (ISIL/ISIS) kills innocent people it is terror. And yet, that dichotomy is easily picked-up by the warmongers in the West and manipulated to buttress their calls for perpetual war. [That dichotomy is also used by ISIL to recruit more terrorists. We want to react by distrusting any and all Muslims. So, ISIL tells potential recruits, “See, the western infidels think of Muslims as second-class people. Marginal. Expendable.” - DLO]
This is the case even though we know that violence and attacks only lead to more weapons, more bombs, and more destruction, bringing the devastation and destruction coming closer and closer to home. The hawks quickly respond with answers (we will crush them eventually, they cannot out fight us) but their answers are empty of a real solution. But what they do very well and effectively is speak to and address the real fear that lives within us. That helps, on some level, to make (some of) us feel better and that is the draw and strength of their short-sighted, short-term responses. But what they ignore are the long-term needs and strategies that can actually address the underlying problems and begin to truly undermine and dismantle terrorist groups around the globe.
When you try to make this argument, they often respond that we have to address the immediate threat and then we can address the long-term, underlying problems. Yet we know that they never actually move beyond the short-term solution because it sucks our resources and energy and because most of them do not believe that we have contributed to the underlying problems that would explain these acts of terror.
And, at the same time, we have to acknowledge that there is still this burning desire to think we can do something, anything to protect ourselves. We need to acknowledge and respond to this need to have a sense of power over our lives, to be able to create the world we want, and to be safe.
But what if more wars and more weapons are not the answer? … What if the wake-up call of these kinds of acts are to help us see that the only real response (once we recognize the existential crisis of being alive, being vulnerable, not knowing if we will live or die today and try to find some acceptance and peace with that while we go about living our lives and perhaps in remembering our vulnerability we choose to live our lives more fully, love more unconditionally, and be more generous and kind) is to build a movement and take back our country and our world. Perhaps this moment is a call to action – not to create a false sense of safety or security or to turn more inward – for ordinary people to rise-up and lead because our leaders are failing us. They continue to promote and use the same strategies of violence, weapons and war to try to bomb the world to peace and impose global capitalism around the globe. And yet we know this strategy and approach has not worked for thousands of years and it will not work now.…
This is our power. Decades ago enough mothers got outraged enough about their children dying in car accidents by drunk drivers that they created Mothers Against Drunk Driving….  It is time for the mother bears of the world to rise (and for the papa bears to join us) and say “enough is enough.” We will not be safe until everyone on the planet is safe. Until all lives are valued. Until everyone has the resources they need to live peacefully, securely, eat healthy food, have drinking water, education, functioning communities, healthcare, etc. We need to stand-up in a loving, compassionate, powerful and nonviolent collective way and demand that our leaders do what is needed to build a safer world for ourselves and everyone else on the planet and to make it clear that more weapons and more violence is not the path. I don’t think we can actually figure out how to protect ourselves if some determined person (or people) with weapons that are often manufactured by U.S. companies (43 of the 100 largest weapons producers are U.S. companies, including 8 of the top 10 and the 3 largest) end up being used to wreck terror and havoc in a theater or café near us, but we do have the power to build a massive movement to demand a change in our policies and approaches.  And when our pain and fear are strong and powerful enough, we will mobilize because we will realize we have no choice. I hope that time comes sooner rather than later.
If you feel that way now, and want to be part of the solution to actually building a safer world, then how about joining the Network of Spiritual Progressives and help promote our Global Marshall Plan and Environmental and Social Responsibility Amendment to the U.S. Constitution and help us recruit hundreds of thousands of people so we can mobilize people to take to the streets in massive nonviolent civil disobedience demanding that those who support continued wars and those who support weapons industries either withdraw their support or we will vote them out of office. This is a crucial moment in history. Let’s capitalize on it ourselves rather than leave it to the warmongers to do so because we know what will happen if they do. With a massive movement, we can turn to the light and away from the darkness but to do so will require each and everyone of us to get out of our offices, our houses, our schools, our communities and even our comfort zones and take to the streets.
What do you say?
Copyright © 2015 Network of Spiritual Progressives®.
Rabbi Michael Lerner
2342 Shattuck Avenue, #1200

Berkeley, CA 94704

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Un-Asked-For Advice

I have to go out of town for a while, so there will be no message the week prior to Thanksgiving. As well, this message will be a tad early.
I was reminded at my last AA meeting, as well as from a message I received from Michael Z [thewisdomoftherooms.com], of an axiom I have come to believe in my experience: “Un-asked-for advice is always seen as criticism.” I think I believe virtually all I do and say is imbued with the highest and best loving intentions. What a fictional story it is I tell myself!
Way down deep inside I know that I offer advice because I really believe I can dispense wisdom. It sounds wonderful, when confronted by an angry, hurt, and disappointed recipient of my un-asked-for advice, to say, “I regret you were upset at my attempt to help. My intentions arose out of love.”
Baloney!
Un-asked-for advice is seen as criticism because it is a criticism.
I began seeing the true wisdom of this as I was presented with my first grandson. “What do you do around your infant grandchildren?” I asked several respected couples who had been grandparents for a long time. Their answer? “Don’t offer any suggestions or assistance until you are asked. And, if you are asked, don’t answer in terms of books or articles you’ve read – answer in terms of your personal experience (good or bad) as a parent.”
That was wonderful, ASKED-FOR advice. I haven’t been asked a lot of questions from my children about raising my grandsons. It’s hard to be quiet sometimes. I often feel like a small second-grader that knows the answer, is waving my hand and is squirming in my desk wanting to be recognized and called upon. But the teacher calls on someone else. Damn!
There are two significant pieces to the message here:
1) Asked-For Advice is a conscious call for help or assistance or guidance. It is a precious commodity. Many of us have difficulty in asking for help. We believe it is an indication of weakness and vulnerability. I believe the universe responds to us in a manner that reflects how we respond to the universe. If I give grudgingly to the universe, it will give grudgingly to me. My prosperity is like a coin: One side is giving while the other is receiving. I have always been taught to be a cheerful and generous giver. However, I have very little instruction on how to ask for help – how to receive. “Don’t hang out the family’s dirty linen for all the neighbors to see.” “Neither a borrower nor a lender be.” “If you can’t do it yourself, don’t do it.” These are the words I heard – and actions I saw – from my siblings, parents and extended family.
For me, personally, this smacked of dishonesty. If I needed help I ought to say so – not pretend all is well. I learned to ask for help when I finally hit my alcoholic bottom. That was also when I began learning how to be a human being – a journey I am still on.
2) When asked, give your advice from your own personal experience grown from issues you have wrestled with and resolved – for good or ill – that are as similar as possible to the one you are responding to. Book knowledge can teach me things, but it is not experience. We share our experience, strength and hope in 12-Step meetings. I don’t simply just share my “knowledge” of the Big Book or any other relevant reference unless it helped me through my situation, which I perceive is similar to the one asked about. If I don’t have any similar experience I say so. I offer a willing and attentive ear to help them process what they’re going through. Then I promise, respecting their anonymity and getting their okay, to enquire as to someone who may be more able to help than I.
I don’t offer advice unless asked.
I’ll talk to you after Thanksgiving. Enjoy a wonderful time of gratitude, love and acceptance.
Although these messages are mostly for me, thanks for listening. As always – feel free to forward this message to your friends, family, and those accompanying you on your spiritual journey.
Don
#2 Nov 2015

Copyright 2015

Friday, November 6, 2015

Fear, Hate and Politics, Part 2

I received a lot of email traffic concerning last week’s message [Msg-5-Oct-2015; Fear, Hate and Politics] – quite a few saying “Hurrah!” and quite a few indicating how disappointed in me they were. Several days later, at our weekly ACIM study group, we read from Chapter 24, “The Goal of Specialness.” Specifically, we were reading from Section IV – “Specialness versus Sinlessness.”
Last week’s message and the email comments I had received were still fresh in my mind. That entire study session’s readings, plus the comments from all the attendees, just stabbed me in my heart.
From 24-IV, paragraph one (sentences 1-7), from paragraph 4 (sentences 1-4), and from paragraph 5 (sentence 2):
“1:1-7: Specialness is a lack of trust in anyone except yourself. Faith is invested in yourself alone. Everything else becomes your enemy; feared and attacked, deadly and dangerous, hated and worthy only of destruction. Whatever gentleness it offers is but deception, but its hate is real. In danger of destruction it must kill, and you are drawn to it to kill it first. And such is guilt’s attraction. Here is death enthroned as savior; crucifixion is now redemption, and salvation can only mean destruction of the world except yourself.”
“4:1-4: Earlier I said consider not the means by which salvation is attained, nor how to reach it. But do consider, and consider well, whether it is your wish that you might see your brother sinless. To specialness the answer must be ‘no.’ A sinless brother is its enemy, while sin, if it were possible, would be its friend.”
“5:2: Only this is certain in this shifting world that has no meaning in reality: When peace is not with you entirely, and when you suffer pain of any kind, you have beheld some sin within your brother, and have rejoiced at what you thought was there.”
And there I was: “Rejoicing” with all who wrote “Hurrah!” Mentally condemning all who wrote otherwise, as simply not understanding what I was trying to communicate: namely, condemning those who willfully fostered hate, anger and fear for there own political purposes.
Yet, here I had been, on the high horse of Felix (my ego), doing exactly the same thing. I was no different than those who I was enjoying hating. I had been assuming I was spiritually right and correct, all those who disagreed were mistaken and wrong.
Bless Felix’s pea-pickin’ heart. He had gotten the best of me – yet once again.
My concluding remarks in last week’s message can be repeated here – in a wholly different context: ACIM teaches me that all my thoughts can be distilled to being either of Fear or Love. No exceptions! It also proclaims that Fear is the opposite of Love. I must always steel myself to pause and think about where my fears are coming from. When I do this, I inevitably understand that my fear is always coming only from between my ears. I can learn to control that with the help of the Holy Spirit. All I have to do is earnestly ask for His help in seeing another way to look at situations or people.
That’s hard for me at times because I love hating haters. God smiles and shakes His head – I’m still a work in progress.
I’m very grateful to all who wrote about how disappointed you were. Your comments enabled the Holy Spirit to prick my heart and allow me to witness the truth that Felix was proclaiming. It allowed me to see – pretty quickly – what I had done to me. Although I had written honestly from Felix’s point of view, I had lost sight of the fact I no longer enjoyed a sense of peace. I was in a state of righteous anger – please emphasize “anger;” other than providing some egoic justification, “righteous” has nothing to do with it.
Again, thank you.
Although these messages are mostly for me, thanks for listening. As always – feel free to forward this message to your friends, family, and those accompanying you on your spiritual journey.
Don
#1 Nov 2015

Copyright 2015

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Fear, Hate, and Politics

I love to read – especially very well written novels. I love Barbara Kingsolver, John Lescroart, John LeCarre, PD James, Jonathan Kellerman, et.al. I have “found” a new writer from Norway. His name is Jo Nesbo and he writes mysteries, generally set in Oslo. His protagonist is a detective named Harry Hole (pronounced Hoo-Ley). The stories are complicated, involved, very human, and superbly crafted. Many times in these messages I have quoted excerpts from some of these authors. Today is the no exception.
In the first Harry Hole novel, entitled “The Bat,” there is the following exchange between Harry and a recent love interest named Birgitta. The couple is in Sydney, Australia:
“They walked on. Harry glanced up and down the street. They were almost the only mixed-sex couple in Oxford Street. Birgitta held his hand.
“’You should see the gay pride parade during Mardi Gras,’ Birgitta said. ‘It goes down Oxford Street here. Last year they said over half a million people came from all over Australia to watch and take part. It was crazy.’
“Gay street. Lesbian street. It was only now that he noticed the clothes exhibited in the shop windows. Latex. Leather. Tight tops and tiny silk panties. Zips and rivets. Exclusive, though stylish, not the sweaty, vulgar stuff that permeated the strip clubs in King’s Cross.
“There was a gay man who lived nearby when I was growing up,’ Harry recounted. ‘He must have been forty or so, lived alone, and everyone in the neighborhood knew he was gay. In the winter we threw snowballs at him, shouted ‘buttf***er’ then all ran like mad, convinced he would give us one up the backside if he caught us. But he never came after us, just pulled his hat further down over his ears and walked home. One day, suddenly, he moved. He never did anything to me, and I’ve always wondered why I hated him so much.’
“’People are afraid of what they don’t understand. And hate what they’re afraid of.’” [Jo Nesbo, The Bat, Vintage Books, 2013, p. 116]
Such a simple statement that explains so much of what is happening here in America as well as around the world. ’People are afraid of what they don’t understand. And hate what they’re afraid of.’ I might add, as well, people have become afraid of trying to comprehend what they don’t understand. Because of their fear they simply hunker down to relish their constant belief that they’re right – and you’re wrong.
What is sickening to me, however, is how populations (including ours) are being played – by whomever – by having our fears and subsequent hates stoked and nourished. Apparently, this approach to mass persuasion is very common and, thus, must be very effective. Beyond our own politics, we just have to look at how Israel needs to demonize Palestinians, Iranians, and Syrians. Or how Palestinians need to demonize Israel and its closest ally the USA. Or how Muslims need to demonize the western ‘civilized’ nations in order to galvanize their sectarian constituencies.
Fear can be addictive. Back in the 1990s I remember a popular bumper sticker: “If you’re not afraid and scared, you’re not paying attention.” I’m reminded, as well, by the lyrics to a song in the musical South Pacific: “You have to be taught to hate….”
Although both political parties use fear, the Republicans are the absolute masters of it. Democrats may imply that to vote Republican will be a vote to go back to the 1950s. Republicans, on the other hand, will tell you directly that to vote Democratic will bring an end to the world, minorities will overrun us, God will turn His back on us, and Muslims will eat our children alive while gays and lesbians cheer. They believe that to win an election they must scare their constituencies to death and demonize their opponents as being evil, un-American, unpatriotic, and unchristian.
It’s a shame that we apparently fall for that and reward that approach with election victories.
ACIM teaches me that all my thoughts can be distilled to being either of Fear or Love. No exceptions! It also proclaims that Fear is the opposite of Love. I must always steel myself to pause and think about where my fears are coming from. When I do this, I inevitably understand that my fear is always coming only from between my ears. I can learn to control that with the help of the Holy Spirit. All I have to do is earnestly ask for His help in seeing another way to look at situations or people.
That’s hard for me at times because I love hating haters. God smiles and shakes His head – I’m still a work in progress.
Although these messages are mostly for me, thanks for listening. As always – feel free to forward this message to your friends, family, and those accompanying you on your spiritual journey.
Don
#5 Oct 2015
Copyright 2015

Saturday, October 24, 2015

Specialness, Forgiveness and Failure

There is a section in Chapter 24, the Goal of Specialness, in the text of A Course in Miracles (ACIM) that is very significant for me. I have witnessed many times the use of “forgiveness” as a tool to extract as much pain as possible from someone. I have been guilty of doing it myself. If I believe I’m better and more “spiritual” than you, then I can afford to forgive you. I am special and you are not. It is insidious, cruel and as opposed to the Gospel of Jesus as one can get. It happens with all of us.
The initial paragraph of Section II (The Treachery of Specialness) reads as follows:
“Comparison must be an ego device, for love makes none. Specialness always makes comparisons. It is established by a lack seen in another, and maintained by searching for, and keeping clear in sight, all lacks it can perceive. This does it seek, and this it looks upon. And always whom it thus diminishes would be your savior, had you not chosen to make of him a tiny measure of your specialness instead. Against the littleness you see in him you stand as tall and stately, clean and honest, pure and unsullied, by comparison with what you see. Nor do you understand it is yourself that you diminish.”
So what is specialness and forgiveness, as described in ACIM?
From the Glossary of Terms from a Course in Miracles by Robert Perry, [2nd Edition, Circle Publishing, 2005]: Specialness is the “… idea of being set apart from others and set above others. Having more or being more than others. Specialness is the great payoff promised by the ego…. All ways of seeking it involve attack, for specialness requires that others must be beneath us. It causes us to look for and rejoice at any sin [or weakness] we see in others. It makes everyone our enemy and so makes us feel attacked from every quarter. Because specialness is a form of separateness, it makes us feel weak, frail, isolated, and alone.  And because it is a form of attack, it makes us feel guilty and afraid. A Special Relationship is a “… relationship based on the pursuit of specialness, in which we try to a) have a special arrangement (an exclusive relationship) with and b) receive special treatment from c) a very special person, so that d) we can feel more special.”
In Miracles magazine [date unknown] is an article by Louis Bourgeois entitled, The Five Faces of Forgiveness. Bourgeois describes these faces in the following way: FACE ONE – Our typical understanding of forgiveness “… begins with a belief in vulnerability. The possibility of attack appears very real, and to forgive one’s attacker requires a series of complicated ego maneuvers. The deception includes a core belief in victimization [and that the perceived world is truly real].”
FACE TWO – “The second face of forgiveness begins with a student’s willingness to admit that he or she does not truly know their own best interests. They become willing to explore the idea that their judgments of anything they see in the world are not sound…. A core ACIM teaching … states that all things are lessons God would have me learn. This means very simply that everything I look upon, everything I experience, is for my highest good.”
FACE THREE – “The third face of forgiveness rests upon the foundation of this acceptance. I do not have to understand how this circumstance, situation, or encounter is serving my highest good. I do, however, have to trust that this is so…. The third face of forgiveness recognizes that even though the ego judges a situation, circumstance or encounter, there is another part of your mind that listens to the whispers of a guiding Spirit. Just by saying to oneself, in the middle of some ‘problem,’ “Help me see this differently,” a doorway opens to another whole realm of consciousness. Awakening has begun….”
FACE FOUR – “The fourth face of forgiveness is where things really start to shift. This level of consciousness is dominated by gratitude. Gratitude is the most appropriate response we can offer in a moment described by the Course as the holy instant…. In this holy instant an amazing series of mind shifts occur…. The first shift, already mentioned, is the reliance on a power greater than ourselves. The second shift is acceptance that that power can and will show us another way of seeing the world. The third shift in our mind is the willingness to experience gratitude.”
The three shifts Bourgeois discusses in the 4th face of forgiveness reminds me of AA’s first three steps as summarized by old timers: I can’t. He can. I think I’ll let Him. Old timers in The Fellowship of AA also told me that forgiveness is quite simple – just don’t blame. If I remove egoic blame, then forgiveness is unnecessary. Without blame, acceptance can take its place and acceptance is the key to serenity.
From my readings in many books/articles about ACIM, I concluded, for me, a description of a 3-step process for forgiveness:  
1. I forgive the images I've made or projected, and I forgive the people in these images from the judgment I have pronounced against them.
2. I forgive myself for making my projections and judgments.
3. I ask the Holy Spirit to help me see another way of looking at this situation or person – and then I still my mind and listen for the Holy Spirit's whispers.
I must always remember: Step 3 is not my job. It will just happen!
The most difficult part of this process for me is the last part of the 2nd step – stilling my mind and listening. After an argument tonight, I might do this step tomorrow. But to do it in the midst of my snit is very difficult for me. However, those times when I have accomplished it, the results have been palpable.
Although these messages are mostly for me, thanks for listening. As always – feel free to forward this message to your friends, family, and those accompanying you on your spiritual journey.
Don
#4 Oct 2015

Copyright 2015