Saturday, March 29, 2014

It’s Always An Inside Job

This has not been a good week, so this will be a short message.
Coming home from the chiropractor this afternoon, this little ditty played in my mind:
Sciatica’s acting up.
Vet had to see the pup.
Computer’s on the fritz.
Spirituality’s hit a glitch.
Ah, well – what the hell –
 Problem’s have been kept at bay, but
There’ll be no enlightened message today.
There is a passage in AA’s Big Book that states that the quality of one’s serenity is directly proportional to one’s spiritual state. If my spiritual state is strong, my serenity is stable. If the quality of my serenity is in the toilet, so is my spiritual state.
The “quality” of my world is dependent on how I look at it. So, it’s always an inside job. If my anger, frustration, competing needs, and resentment all conspire to upset my serenity, I need to focus only on me and my spirituality. No longer can I bitch, whine, groan and moan: “Why is the world ganging up on me? What have I done to deserve this?”
Sometimes, like this week, I just hate the reality of that Big Book truism. I might as well, while I’m at it, hate the force of gravity. But that’s not going to do me much good, either.
It’s always an inside job.
Although these messages are mostly for me, thanks for listening. As always – feel free to forward this message to your friends, family, and those accompanying you on your spiritual journey.
Don
#5 March, 2014
Copyright, 2014


Saturday, March 22, 2014

My Name is Mr. Duality

[From Michael Z. [http://www.thewisdomoftherooms.com] “Last week my business website was hacked, my site was taken down, and my account was suspended. For hours, while I lost revenue and customers, I pleaded, begged and threatened my hosting company's technical support…. After it was all over, I was a wreck. Later that evening I wondered why I hadn't brought God into it and why I hadn't worked my program.
“What I realized is that fear is still the chief activator of my character defects, and prime among them is fear of losing something I have or of not getting what I demand…. Thankfully everything was resolved in a few hours, but for a while I was alone and spiritually vulnerable.
 “As I reflect back on the experience, I'm amazed by how quickly I can abandon my program when I'm in fear [or anger]…. I know that alcoholism is cunning, baffling and powerful, and I'm constantly reminded that I must remain vigilant. Because even after all my time in recovery, there are some days when I say, ‘What program?’ ‘God who?’"
His message reminded me of the power of Fear. We all get fearful, and we’re seeing a lot of it now, mostly focused on politics. Both political parties use fear, usually to make a point or to exaggerate their strengths or their opponent’s apparent weakness. But the rancor of its use by the extreme conservative wing of the GOP (which the moderate Republicans refuse to tamp down) is particularly despicable – it’s purposeful, intentional, fear designed to scare older folks, fundamental Christians, and especially white men. I remember the ridiculous hysteria a year or so ago: “Don’t ratify the international treaty (based on U.S. law) that benefits the handicapped, because U.N. troops will ‘invade’ our classrooms.” U.S. senators even picked up this argument and defeated the motion to ratify. It was utterly amazing to witness how fearful senators were of their perceived ultra-conservative voter base.
The corollary to fear is anger. The two go hand-in-glove. There are many private ads now airing that are simply promoting fear and anger just for the sake of maintaining a level of fear and anger in their targeted populace.
For example, these ads use false claims and paid actors to discredit the Affordable Care Act – not that it’s perfect as it is – but all these ad-funders do is try to scare the crap out of me, make me so angry over it ‘til I’m ready to explode, and then I say to myself: “Well, what is their alternative?” I hear nothing about that. If the ad-funders don’t like ObamaCare and want it to go away – what are they proposing instead? “Pardon me, I’m listening but I haven’t yet heard your reply.”
The use of fear and anger as a motivator for political purposes is – well awful. No wonder discontent, frustration, trust in state and federal elected officials, as well as trust in business executives, has gone into the toilet.
A subscriber and friend pointed me to a book by Michael Kimmel, professor of sociology and gender studies at Stony Brook University of New York.  His book: Angry White Men: American Masculinity at the End of an Era (Nation Books, Perseus Books Group, 2012). Men are terribly frightened (Kimmel calls it rage) and frustrated watching all their time-honored entitlements begin to crumble. For centuries white men have had an entire world that has been skewed to their favor. Consequently, they want to fight all entitlements to anyone but themselves – black, brown, red and Asian minorities, women, LGBT and immigrants.  In their minds, any entitlement to another means less entitlement to them. Fear, lack, anger, frustration, resentment. I hate to mention this, but, as far as I know, these are not typical family values – until recently.
As a white male, I understand all that. However, this message is not really focused on white males. What I’m referencing is the wealthy intelligent people (and their snappy PR agencies) that are purposefully fanning the flames of that fear and anger for no other purpose than to advance their political agenda. They want to keep these men scared and angry so they’ll vote for conservatives and, thus, promote a political agenda designed to wed federal and state governments with the business community. Although they will preach free enterprise, they really want nothing of the sort. They want to be the driving force of government in order to have the power to expand their empires with the full, faith, credit and power of the government behind them. But, you say, “I didn’t think business likes government interference.” They don’t like government interference unless it favors them. They want interference if it cripples their competition or provides multitudes of corporate entitlements in the form of tax advantages, government subsidies or contracts, or limited corporate liability.
So I have to ask myself, “Donnie, how are you dealing with fear?”  I try to deal with it with honesty, fairness, and integrity. If I can do that, there is nothing to hide, no “political or personal points” to make. When I see these ads or read internet communications, I try to say to myself and the ad-funders: “You’re not going to scare me. However, I will admit that if were as fearful as you, I might want to spread fear as well.” That doesn’t always work, but it does help me to keep the focus on myself and on the fact that I am really not that different from the ad-funders. That, in itself, is rather disconcerting – but honest – to say the least.
The one thing both AA and A Course in Miracles (ACIM) have taught me is that when it comes to finding serenity, peace, happiness, acceptance and love – the opposite of fear, lack, anger, frustration, and resentment – it’s always an inside job.
How I look at the world determines how the world looks to me.
I received a poem from a friend and subscriber that sums all this up. She called the poem: “Thy Name.” 
How do you
Bow
To a Master,
Profess love for
God,
Publicly
Act like a
Saint,
   Then
Fight with
Your neighbor,
Belittle your son?
Duality is
Thy name.

Jeanette Zanghi, 2014 (reprinted with permission)
Although these messages are mostly for me, thanks for listening. As always – feel free to forward this message to your friends, family, and those accompanying you on your spiritual journey.

Don
#4 March, 2014
Copyright, 2014

Saturday, March 15, 2014

The State Of The World I See Reflects The State I’m In

I received many comments asking for more explanations of my use of the “attack” word in my last post [Msg-2-Mar-2014, “I Remember Then Forget To Remember”]. In my post last week, I describe the “reality” I think I know as being only the “… reflections of my memories of an image or illusion. When I am picturing the past or anticipating the future, my mind is actually blank, because it is not thinking. It is only remembering my memories of an illusion.
I wrote on, saying: “This reality scares the bejeezus out of me, which puts me in a state of fear, vulnerability, rationalization, defensiveness, justification, projection, or disbelief – tools I use to protect "my" world. When I use these "tools," I am feeling like a victim or a potential victim or a victor, all of which means that I'm in an attack mode!
“Attack thoughts come from me and at me. They are, however, one and the same. If I can get even, then someone else can get even with me. When I am angry with someone or something, there is always an element of "They caused me pain (attacked me) and that's why I'm angry (attacking them back)." Anger, Fear, Getting Even, Rationalization, Uneasiness, Vulnerability, Apprehension and Worry are all attack thoughts. Attacks coming at me are simply my thought of attack bouncing back at me.”
According to A Course in Miracles (ACIM), there are only two basic emotions: Love and Fear. Fear is the opposite of Love. Personally, I prefer to use the word Acceptance since I believe the word “Love” has become too overworked. Regardless, all attack thoughts or actions are fear-based, and they are all our projections.
Psychology has long understood the defense mechanism of projection. What we cannot abide in ourselves, we place “out there” and then blame or hate or abhor. We don’t feel comfortable with sex, for example, so we begin to “see” sex everywhere – everywhere, that is, but in us.  I remember a great example: This little old lady called the police to report a very lewd neighbor who, night after night at 8PM, would come in to bathe without closing the bathroom curtains. She found it disgusting and a wanton show of exhibitionism. The police came over one night at 8PM. She showed them her window, where they could see the man taking a bath. They could see his shoulders and head. “Ma’am, that’s not lewd behavior. We can only see his head.” “Well,” she answered, “You have to stand on my little box I put here.” That’s an attack.
I do my share of this over and over again. For example, I’m bigoted against bigots. I can spot a bigot a mile away. I focus on them. I read about their hateful attitudes and orchestrated actions. All of these thoughts are attack thoughts. I do not want to focus on my insides, namely, why I am so focused on them. What hatred’s hiding inside me?  It gets more complicated because our social norms seem to support my hatred of bigots as being “righteous.” But in reality it’s only my fearful hatred of people who fearfully hate. That’s all that’s going on and there’s not really much difference between the two. They hate and attack. I hate and attack them. Rather than dealing with my tendency to hate, I deal with all the hatred I think I see. It’s all a function of my ability to project – my ability to keep my focus off of me. It’s an attack.
When I find myself involved in other psychological defense mechanisms – like rationalization, justification, guilt, anger, self-pity, getting even, feelings of apprehension or worry – I am in some state of Fear. There is something inside me that I don’t want to deal with so I am making sure that feeling is projected outside of me so I can attack it as some form of “enemy.” In reality, I do not want to look at me.
I still feel guilty sometimes about the way my alcoholism interfered with my ability to be emotionally present for my children and interfered with my ability to make good, solid decisions concerning them. It still has the ability to sadden me greatly. When I’m in that place, however, I’ll find myself watching grown children relating to their alcoholic parents in ways I envy, These children have been able to accept and forgive their parents. I envy the parents and find myself irritated, thinking, “Why couldn’t my child do that? If he did that my life would be better. Oh! Woe is me.” When I get into that kind of mood (which happens less and less as I continue to grow) I begin to see a surrounding universe that seems to reinforce my image of my  “pitiful me.”  I see all the criticisms people make of each other. I see all the complaints, gripes, whines, and “dear me’s” that seem to explain why my (and their) life is so miserable. That’s what I’m feeling. That’s what I’m focusing on. That’s what I see coming back at me.
I have also experienced the opposite of this. When I focus on my “primary purpose” as a recovering alcoholic and maturing spiritual person, my universe physically alters. When I focus on being as honest as I can, sharing my good/bad and ugly/pretty experience, strength and hope with all, I see kindness. I see errors being corrected. I see people accepting others – or trying to – just as they are. I see very little complaining or whining or griping. I see very little anger or hatred.
What I feel and how I project that outwards, comes back to me. If I feel full of self-pity, I seem to see a pitiful, hopeless world. If I feel full of open, honest Oneness with others, I feel full of hope, trust, contentment, and unity.
I am getting more of the latter since I began sharing myself through these weekly messages.
Although these messages are mostly for me, thanks for listening. As always – feel free to forward this message to your friends, family, and those accompanying you on your spiritual journey.
Don
#3 March, 2014
Copyright, 2014


Saturday, March 8, 2014

I Remember Then Forget To Remember

From a subscriber in reference to Msg-1-Mar-2014, “Being Born Again – Over And Over And Over”
Hi Don!
That is a lot of food for thought, and that is just the thinking, not the implementing.....And, are you saying that the thinking of ACIM is that you do not deal with the past at all - that it is just an illusion?  Couldn't another approach be to acknowledge the past, and accept it for what it was (Acceptance), and then live in the now?  Isn't that the whole process of "letting go"? Aren't we all the sum of our parts (including our past)?  And then where does Karma fit in?  Aren't we where we are because of past lives, past actions?  And if we are evolving into who were really are, you can't evolve if you don't have a beginning, which is also the past....I know it is easy to over-intellectualize something.  So, are you proposing to just forget all the above, just make it simple...and then live in the now?  I really do not like complicated thought, and generally just want to cut to the chase - but your messages always do make me think, and I do appreciate that, so thank you!... 
It’s good to hear from you again. Thank you. You raise a lot of very good questions. The Course in Miracles (ACIM) says everything we “believe” we “see” and “know” as reality is only our perception of things, which, in turn, is colored by all sorts of “in-our-head” beliefs, understandings, teachings and expectations.  In short, the world we perceive doesn’t truly exist! It doesn’t really exist because we are not human beings who possess a “soul” somewhere. It doesn’t really exist because we are already-loved spirits having a human experience and the world of Spirit – of love and forgiveness – is the real world. But humankind has chosen to believe our perceived world of fear, lack, and attack rather than the true world of Spirit.

A simple test: All we have to do is get several of our siblings together and discuss an event all of us remember – and we’ll get all sorts of differing interpretations as to what exactly went on. I’ll remember things they absolutely have no recollection of, and they’ll remember things I don’t. I’ll interpret something our mother did as harmful while my sister will remember it as funny. So, what is the reality of what actually happened? The “reality” is merely our selective memory with self-imposed interpretations.  That “reality” exists only between our ears.

We generally remember what we want to, interpreted the way we want to remember it, and reinforced by other similar behavior that seems to verify what we remember (but is only the subsequent remembrances colored by the initial interpretation).  As a result, the “world” we are reacting to is a world whose meaning we created from distorted thoughts about a selective memory of a past event. We are seeing reflections of selected memories of an image or illusion. That’s all it is. It is not real. The only true reality is seeing the Christ in everyone (including yourself) in the eternal NOW. Our egos cannot take us there.

I created a summary of the first 30 Lessons in ACIM’s Workbook for Students. I use it when I am really out of sorts. You may find it helpful:
My mind is preoccupied with past thoughts. I see nothing as it is now.   "The one wholly true thought I can hold about the past is that it is not here." [ACIM.W-p1.8. 2:1] Since I see only the past, my thoughts do not mean anything; I am upset because I am seeing something that is not there; my thoughts are merely images I have made. I only see my own thoughts projected outward. If my mind is preoccupied with the past, and all thoughts about the past are thoughts or images about illusions, and all I see is a projection of my thoughts – where does that leave what I am "seeing?" Nowhere! I am seeing reflections of my memories of an image or illusion. When I am picturing the past or anticipating the future, my mind is actually blank, because it is not thinking. It is only remembering my memories of an illusion.
This idea totally engulfs my Sense-of-Self  (ego) in fear – if all that my ego is showing me is meaningless, then I (and my illusionary world) are meaningless. My only option is to let God define my world and me. That is even more scary! It feels more "natural" to make my own meaning – with myself and my concerns at the center. If I let God make my meaning, then I have to believe that I, and all the things I value and fought for (including those things I believe are right and just), might be lost. I'm afraid the vengeance or life-view of my "enemies" will win and I will lose.
This reality scares the bejeezus out of me, which puts me in a state of fear, vulnerability, rationalization, defensiveness, justification, projection, or disbelief – tools I use to protect "my" world. When I use these "tools," I am feeling like a victim or a potential victim or a victor, all of which means that I'm in an attack mode!
Attack thoughts come from me and at me. They are, however, one and the same. If I can get even, then someone else can get even with me. When I am angry with someone or something, there is always an element of "They caused me pain (attacked me) and that's why I'm angry (attacking them back)." Anger, Fear, Getting Even, Rationalization, Uneasiness, Vulnerability, Apprehension and Worry are all attack thoughts. Attacks coming at me are simply my thought of attack bouncing back at me. For example: I will feel an immediate uneasiness when a highway patrol car cruises by. It is an indication (attack in the form of guilt/fear) that I am speeding or have speeded in the past and "gotten away with it.” Now, I may get caught
Changing my mind is the only way out of fear that will ever succeed. Nothing else will work; everything else is meaningless. I must remember: The world I see has nothing to do with reality.
If what I see outside is being caused by my own meaningless thoughts, then there is nothing to "blame" out there; all that is needed is to correct my thoughts. Thus, I am responsible for what I see, and I can choose to change my mind.
Here’s a little correcting exercise I use when I’m upset: "I am <angry, worried, disappointed> at/because <name, situation> but I am only reacting to a world whose meaning I created from a selective memory of my past. I am determined to really see! I am neither the victim nor the victor. I do not know what anything, including this situation, means, so I do not know how to respond to it. And I will not use my own past learning as the light to guide me.” Using my own past experience/learning to guide me is to continue to make my own meaning out of the world. By not doing this it allows my Spirit Guide or Holy Spirit to speak to me and take his rightful place in my awareness. So, I ask – “I really no longer want this; Help me to see another way of looking at this situation." Then I still my mind and listen for the message of my Spirit Guide, which I call the Holy Spirit.
I hope this helps.
Although these messages are mostly for me, thanks for listening. As always – feel free to forward this message to your friends, family, and those accompanying you on your spiritual journey.
Don
#2 March, 2014

Copyright, 2014