Coping With My Ocean of Guilt and Shame

Last week [Msg-3-May-2014; Quantum Physics and My Spirituality] I referred to and quoted from the book Opening The Aloha Mind – Healing Self, Healing the World with Ho’oponopono, by Jim Nourse, PhD [Balboa Press (Hay House), 2013]. While looking at a problem of broken axles he asked himself, “Which was the problem – the situation itself or my appraisal of it?” [p. 13]

His realization is very similar to what I’m learning in A Course in Miracles (ACIM). I perceive people, things, and events through a filter of my past interpretations of selective memories. He also quotes a quip I first heard at Princeton: A person commented to his therapist, “Life just keeps throwing me one thing after another.” The therapist replied, “No, your life is throwing you the same thing over and over again.” As I’ve been trying to recognize my perceptions as non-reality, I’ve discovered an ocean of guilt/shame inside me – an overflowing reservoir. I realize I’ve been trying for years, through the Twelve Steps of AA, to find the answer to the question: “Where did all this stuff come from? What caused my ocean’s beginning?”  

Nourse’s description of how the Ho’oponopono healing experience operates to cleanse and forgive me (and also change the world around me!) is very, very similar to the process of forgiveness in ACIM, and the Course defines forgiveness as our primary function in this world.

In ACIM the forgiveness process goes like this: I forgive the perceptions/images I've made or projected, and I forgive the people in these perceptions/images; I forgive myself for projecting my perceptions/images; I ask the Holy Spirit to help me see another way of looking at this situation/person – and then I still my mind and listen for the Holy Spirit's whispers. (Remember: This last step is not my job. It just happens).

According to Nourse, the Ho’oponopono process proceeds by addressing our collective “memory,” which is not the same as our western idea of memory. Memory is not my recollection of my Dad or Mom or brother “doing something” to me or my recollection of me doing something “bad.” It is an unformed mass of data from the collective psyche and the cosmos at large. For example, rather than responding in an unconditional acceptance of things exactly as they are in the NOW, I perceive a situation as a problem, or worry, or threat, or fear. That’s a clear sign that I’m operating from my experience with my ocean of subconscious unformed stuff from the cosmos. To use Ho’oponopono for cleansing, I must take full responsibility for the situation.  “My taking responsibility does not mean that I take on the blame for or burden of what happened to you. It means that I accept the fact that the underlying [unformed stuff in my subconscious] is in the cosmos and, therefore, also in me.” [p. 66] The cleansing continues in a 3-step process: repentance, forgiveness, and transmutation. Virtually the same three steps as in ACIM.

Nourse’s description of this collective, unconscious memory [Chapter Seven] is an absolutely beautiful description of what I have known as my “ocean of guilt/shame.” It’s the first time I have seen words like these. What an enormous relief that is for me. [I have discussed this concept before under the term Race Consciousness (Race as in Human Race). For example, Msg-3-Jan-2013 is about Shared Illusions]. The psychoanalyst Dr. Carl Jung, who first defined the term Collective Unconscious, was too cerebral for me to internalize when I studied him in graduate school.

Ho’oponopono doesn’t deal with the source – the prime cause – of where my guilt/shame comes from. ACIM doesn’t really dwell on it either. ACIM states that the Holy Spirit will honor an honest, gut-level willingness to perceive things differently or to see the world through different, spiritual “eyes.” ACIM describes this as vision rather than sight.

What I’ve come to understand while integrating these two very similar messages is that it doesn’t matter where my ocean of guilt/shame comes from. My earliest memories are not of this ocean, but early experiences of the ocean’s effect on me. Over and over I learned – incorrectly – to perceive the results of my ocean as confirmation that I was defective. I was inadequate. There was something inherently wrong with me. It wasn’t a conclusion based on things I did differently or incorrectly – it was that I, personally and wholly, was incomplete and somehow inferior because of it. That became my constant filter through which I perceived everything.

Consequently, I wear some pretty big buttons on my chest. They all say:  “If you want to see a very visceral reaction, just press here.” Some of these buttons are looks of exasperation at who I am or how I think, non-verbal communication that I’m merely being tolerated, susceptibility to “should” and “ought” statements, or envy (as AAers often say: “… wanting to be someone else, somewhere else, doing something else”). In short, each of these buttons has a direct connection, or siphon, to my ocean of guilt/shame. Push one of these buttons and you’ll get a very defensive reaction or justifying discourse from me – not based in the reality of the present moment – but based on my perception of the situation as it comes straight from my ocean and tells me that who I am simply isn’t enough. Since I don’t like to be reminded of that, I will blame you anyway I can.

What jumped out at me reading Nourse’s book was I don’t need to figure out where my ocean comes from. That focus of reflective thought has gotten me nowhere. I simply need to truly trust that becoming aware and willing will allow the Holy Spirit to begin neutralizing my ocean and freeing that energy for His use. That will also have a very positive impact on you, as well.

That is the icing on the cake – as the Holy Spirit cleanses me and allows me to have a different healthier perception of NOW, it cleanses the world around me. Each cleansing, multiple times daily, removes psychic “stuff” that has blocked my inner light, the light of my True Self – an already-loved eternal spirit currently having a human experience. I am not shining my light brighter – I am allowing my already-there light to shine more clearly now that some of my ocean of “stuff” is out of the way.

A Course in Miracles and the indigenous Hawaiian Ho’oponopono – who woulda thunk it? It’s a positive affirmation for me that Truth, after all, is Truth. It will set me free.

Although these messages are mostly for me, thanks for listening. As always – feel free to forward this message to your friends, family, and those accompanying you on your spiritual journey.

Don

#4 May, 2014

Copyright, 2014

Quantum Physics and My Spirituality

Writing about a storm he experienced in Hawaii, Jim Nourse wrote: “Where the sunny day met the boundary of the storm there was a stunning alchemical fog of a furious wind blasting and conjoining sand, ocean spray and rain with sunlight turned diffuse and orange in a chaos of sensation.” [Jim Nourse, PhD, The Aloha Mind, Balboa Press (Hay House), 2013]

He went on to describe how the storm was creating havoc with back-country roads – washout and huge water-filled potholes. They encountered some guys who had broken an axle in trying to get through one of these obstacles. They picked them up and, on their way to a repair shop, saw a woman in a field having similar problems with some farm equipment. She, too, had issues with an axle – and the fellows and she referred to their predicament in terms of the storm “sticking” their truck or tractor. 

“… I was reflecting on how we would have dealt with ‘sticking’ our truck: walk until we had cell connection, arrange for a tow truck, and do what one does to get back to normal. What for us would be an inconvenience, to these individuals could easily be a profound hardship. In their shoes, would I have mentally amplified this inconvenience into a full-blown hardship? Had I become so soft and attached to agendas that this would rise to the level of emergency in my mind? Which was the problem – the situation itself or my appraisal of it? My attention was drawn back to the conversation that had by now established the fact that the situation sucked all around. The young woman paused thoughtfully, then looked up at the sky and swung her arm with hand upraised in a wide ark and announced for all to hear ‘But… It’s a beautiful day!!!’ We burst into laughter and headed on down the road.” [p.13]

Nourse made an interesting observation. Which was the real problem: The actual situation or my appraisal of it? A Course in Miracles (ACIM) has taught me how the power of my perception has created or can change my universe. AA has taught me that if I change the way I look at things, the things I look at change. I think we’re all saying the same thing – verbalizing the same experienced reality.

This reality of perception also is the guiding principle behind the growing science of Quantum Physics. I remember studying in a college course, The Philosophy of Science, that scientists couldn’t tell if light was really a wave or a piece of matter/energy called a photon. The philosophical issue, however, was that we couldn’t really observe light in its natural state. When scientists would try to observe natural light, their observations themselves would affect the state of the light they were observing. Behind Quantum Physics is the same conundrum: While observing infinitesimally small objects, physicists cannot determine if they are looking at matter or energy and that the “looking at them” can change them.

Newtonian physics (Isaac Newton) held that there were absolute laws that governed pieces of matter – whether it was a piece of wood, a grain of sand, an atom, or a star. It was concrete identifiable stuff. It was matter. Cartesian philosophy (Rene Descartes) separated reality into matter and spirit – the body was matter, the soul was spirit. Never the twain should meet. Both Newton and Descartes worked in the realm of physics, mathematics, and philosophy, but their combined effort produced the Newtonian/Cartesian view of the world we have lived in for almost 400 years. Physics and science deals with matter or stuff. Religion (and maybe psychology) deals with spirit and non-matter.

As Nourse put it: “While the Newtonian/Cartesian paradigm made possible stupendous developments in science, technology and medicine, it has also created casualties. By splitting mind and body, it has alienated us from ourselves. By declaring material reality as the only domain worthy of being called real, it has alienated us from spiritual sources of emotional nurturance and meaning. By positing the human observer as unrelated to what is observed, it has alienated us from the natural world…. [We in the West have] the most sophisticated level of control over the environment, yet [we are] left psychologically and spiritually empty….

“The Newtonian view held up quite well, so long as we supposed that the minutest assemblages of matter consisted only of the tiniest particles in motion according to the laws of motion. The atom depicted as a solar system in miniature illustrates this contention. However, as the early quantum physicists peered deeply into this level of existence, what they found was that matter – rather than being substantial or solid in any way – exists fundamentally as a probability wave. The act of observation forces the probability wave into a defined state that is then recognized as matter. Nourse goes on to conclude:

What we call reality, then, is dependent upon the consciousness of an observer. By implication, there is no ‘out there’ as a concretized material world. The perception of an ‘out there’ is the result of the interaction of consciousness with a probability matrix. Thus, we are intimately involved in the creation of the world by sequential acts of perception, on a moment to moment basis.  [p.26-7]

Several weeks ago I wrote about the power of my ego and the perverse illusionary world I and all humanity have created. However, I now comprehend the true nature of this creation: It doesn’t really exist. [Msg-04-Apr-2014; Comprehending The Force Of My Ego]

ACIM teaches that peace and understanding happen together. One cannot exist without the other. [T:14, XI, 12]  And, boy, do I need peace! Peace and understanding come in the eternal NOW. Not in the past nor the future.  The text goes on to say, “I do not know what anything, including this, means. And so I do not know how to respond to it. And I will not use my own past learning as the light to guide me.” [T: 14, XI, 6]

In the NOW, I know my true freedom and peace, as an already-loved eternal spirit currently living in a human body. That’s all there really is. That’s the only true reality. It’s where I meet the Holy Spirit. As the Course states in the Introduction to the Text: “Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. [And my illusionary world is unreal] Herein lies the peace of God.”

I never knew I was really studying Quantum Physics as I study the Course. I never knew I was comprehending Quantum Physics as I was following AA’s Twelve Steps to sobriety and finding, along the way, a true sense of spirituality.

Although these messages are mostly for me, thanks for listening. As always – feel free to forward this message to your friends, family, and those accompanying you on your spiritual journey.

Don

#3 May, 2014

Copyright, 2014

Dealing With The Inner and Outer Worlds

A subscriber and friend wrote, as a result of last week’s message [“Smile And Watch The Pure Joy Of Doing Things Differently” - Msg-1-May-2014]

Good Morning Don!  Your message kind of parallels what I have been expressing this week....some people can and do change, can recognize fear and then try to get beyond it.  But, it seems to me that we humans, collectively, suffer the plight of ignorance, choose to follow, and choose to not change.  From George Carlin all the way back to the early thinkers there is recognition of ignorance, ignorance of the masses.  For  me it appears that ignorance (resistance to change) rules our planet,  always has, perhaps always will…. I think that I have realistically… rationalized that maybe we are presented with a scenario where if we want to achieve happiness & peace, it is going to be achieved through a struggle against massive programming against that end.  Does that make sense? 

Yes it makes sense, but those kinds of thoughts have proven to me to be both confusing and avoiding in terms of the real issues. In my message of April, 2014 [“Comprehending The Force Of My Ego”] I wrote: [The world of the ego that we describe is]: a world of fear, anger, hate, lust, resentment, revenge, envy, and greed. I [You have added “ignorance” to that list.]

… It is a world each of us create by the way we look at it. It’s simply our perception. Change our perception and the world changes. I’ve experienced this at times, and it’s an amazing miracle. As I’ve learned – and shared in these messages – if I change the way I look at things, the things I look at change. 

But it seems so daunting. The world seems so violent and fearful. That attitude makes me want to quit before I begin. But that’s my perception again – my ego raising its head presenting me with this task to change the world. My “task” is not to fix the world by simply changing the way I look at it. I am simply to be willing to NOT listen to what I think and to be willing to let the Holy Spirit give me another way of looking at things or people. I need to keep the focus only on me and my thoughts. I need to be willing to think differently. I need to be willing to ask for a different way of perceiving. That’s all. He’ll take it from there.

 This is so tough to imagine. Believe me – I know. Personally, I don’t have the capacity to deal with “the masses,” as you described. My plate is full enough just dealing with me.

I recently heard a new-to-me quote: “If I don’t go within, I go without.” In other words, when I read something that really strikes me, my first, rather knee-jerk, reaction is to say something like: “Boy! I really wish my boss, spouse, son, daughter, neighbor, the Republicans, the British, the poor, or the wealthy, could read this.” I’m still training myself to respond with: “How does this apply to me? Although I don’t like it when my spouse does this, I’m really doing the same thing.” Ugh! I don’t like going within.

I have to always remember that the ego-based world I see is the illusionary world of separateness and form. The spirit-based world is the true world of oneness and content. Perhaps this will help. It’s a quote from Deepak Chopra, The Ultimate Happiness Prescription, Crown Publishing Group, 2009, pp108-109, 113:

“Your true identity is neither the inner nor the outer world. You are the creator of both. The same source that creates thoughts, feelings, memories, emotions, and all subjective experience simultaneously creates the objective world that matches your subjective state. If you don’t like what is happening around you, don’t try to ‘fix it.’ That would be like polishing the mirror hoping to change the reflection you see in it. In order to change what you see, there has to be a new message coming from source…. Quantum physics completely agress with this idea [of the relationship between the inner and outer world]….

“The difference [between the world’s wisdom traditions and physics] is that [the wisdom traditions] link the two while physics gives primary value to inert [outer] matter, although this is beginning to change…. Suppose you don’t like a situation in your life. You perceive that there is an outside circumstance or relationship that is at fault. Merely turning to positive thinking isn’t going to make a difference. You can think as positively as you like about your troubles, but this is a superficial mood; it doesn’t go to the source. In fact, to artificially manipulate your thoughts, even in a positive direction, can increase stress and worsen the situation. The solution is to change both inner and outer reality simultaneously. Consciousness permeates everything. It functions to create change at four fundamental levels: being, feeling, thinking, and doing….

“Almost all the work done on the spiritual path consists of two things: clearing away obstacles, and reaching a deeper level of awareness. In these ways you can open a connection to your true self and you remove the ego’s resistance. Yet even at the beginning of the path, being mindful of your role as the witness is very effective. When you achieve this state, you are grounded, alert, flexible, and ready to act from the highest level. Shifting to the witness is a subtle action. It requires that you ‘just stop.’”

Chopra’s suggestion to “Just Stop” is the same as ACIM’s admonishment to be willing to NOT listen to what I think and to be willing to let the Holy Spirit give me another way of looking at things or people.

Although these messages are mostly for me, thanks for listening. As always – feel free to forward this message to your friends, family, and those accompanying you on your spiritual journey.

Don

#2 May, 2014

Copyright, 2014

Smile And Watch The Pure Joy Of Doing Things Differently

Living, loving, learning and growing is always all about changing. Yet, most of us don’t like change. We’re used to what we perceive as “the way it is,” and the question we ask is not is this good or bad or beneficial or not. We simply ask a question or make a statement: “Well, it’s a familiar rhythm and, to a degree, it’s predictable.” We like that. It’s comfortable. It’s routine. It’s – well, familiar.

Then it doesn’t seem to work anymore – at least not like we remember it working.

Then what?

We change or we hold on to our perceived past. If we hold on, what will become our new normal will be frustration, irritation, resentment, anger and intolerance – all fueled by fear. It’s not a pretty picture.

My pattern of drinking was pretty much the same for over 15 years. I would have a vodka (or two) when I got home from work, have a glass of wine with dinner, and have a bourbon (or two) in bed with some munchies while I read a novel. Soon I would begin getting sleepy. Next day – same routine. Then it stopped. I wouldn’t be sleepy. Or, after my second vodka, I’d almost pass out. I was panicked. My drinking went downhill very fast after that.

There’s a tried and true saying in AA that goes like this: “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got.”

But, you may be thinking: “Aren’t there ways you are supposed to do things?” or “Why reinvent the wheel?” or “If it’s not broken, why fix it?” In short, we resist.

I think this is especially true in the realm of attitudes, beliefs, customs, or cultures. Like it or not, I-Phones, I-Pads, Kindles, Nooks, Facebook, or Twitter have all changed – very, very quickly – how we communicate. That’s not threatening, so it’s okay. But our attitudes toward those with much wealth, those struggling financially, those who believe differently than we, those who have a different political perspective than we, those who believe literally (or not) in the Bible, those who hold onto the fear and disdain of people of different races or those who appear to be foreign doesn’t seem to change very much, too quickly, or too often.

When I was in graduate school at Princeton Theological Seminary, I watched “All In The Family” with Archie Bunker (Carroll O’Connor) and his son-in-law, Meathead (Rob Reiner). I really identified with Meathead. At the time I was working with urban, inner city black youth. I was progressive. I was very avid in my beliefs. Then the show went off the air. Some fifteen years later, my son had come to live with me and we began watching re-runs of the show. He identified with Meathead and I was identifying with Archie. Wow! When did that happen? How did that happen?

I have found out for myself if I am not moving forward, I’m trying to hold on to my perceived past. Holding on is not my way to move me forward. When I asked some old timers in AA about what it was I was supposed to change as I got sober, they said ”You only have to do two things: Stop drinking and slowly change everything else about your life.” I was flabbergasted. They were laughing.

But, in the end, they were right.

As I followed the suggested Twelve Steps, everything about my life, values, and attitudes changed. I was no longer who I had been. I truly am a miracle! And I am so eternally grateful for those grizzled old men whose vocal chords allowed my Higher Power to speak to me. However, I could never verbally express what had happened to me or was happening to me until I read the words in A Course in Miracles (ACIM) that were describing the reality of life I had come to know, but could never find the words to express.

I was no longer doing what I had always done, and I most certainly was not getting what I had always gotten. I was moving forward. Changing. Learning a different way of living. Learning how to be loved. Learning to be a new me – a transformed me.

Wow!

Watch this video at the link: [ http://www.reshareworthy.com/amazing-quartet-blew-audience-away/#5zfBRDhm2Zsug3vq.03 ]. You’ll see things that simply aren’t supposed to be. Just relax and smile as you watch the pure joy of doing things differently. Perhaps this will remind you, as it did me, that “new” may not be better, but it is not clutching onto past behaviors – thus not stifling change; not stifling growth; not stifling life.

Although these messages are mostly for me, thanks for listening. As always – feel free to forward this message to your friends, family, and those accompanying you on your spiritual journey.

Don

#1 May, 2014

Copyright, 2014