Part 2 - The World of Separateness, Death and of Being Right

When I drank I was in a world of separateness and it was a world of death. When I fall back into my ego thought-system of the “rightness” of my perceived sense of reality, I fall back into that same world of death. Now, I want to be happy and peaceful, not right.

Continued from Part 1 .....

A Course in Miracles (ACIM) states that to communicate these kinds of experiences is simply beyond words. That’s why I love the introduction to the Course:

This is a course in miracles. It is a required course. Only the time you take it is voluntary. Free will does not mean that you can establish the curriculum. It means only that you can elect what you want to take at a given time. The course does not aim at teaching the meaning of love, for that is beyond what can be taught. It does aim, however, at removing the blocks to the awareness of love’s presence, which is your natural inheritance. The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite.

This course can therefore be summed up very simply in this way: Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.

ACIM is a course in “undoing” and removing the ego thought-system of duality. It’s a course in mind training. Collectively, we are the Son of God, and we can live in a community of love and acceptance. To live in the womb of an accepting community will transform each of us. This is what AA has done for me. A place, wherever I find a meeting, that allows me to be just as I am – honestly. It is a place where I am accepted. [Being accepted is a more meaningful synonym for love for me.]  AA’s Program is not about memorizing the words or stories of the Big Book. It is to work the Twelve Steps in absolute honesty. It is to turn my life and will over to the care of God, as I understand God, by working Steps 4-12 for the rest of my life.  Doing this, I undergo a spiritual transformation. To quote the Big Book – or to memorize and quote the Bible – is to remain in my ego thought-system of duality, sin and separateness, both from others and from God.

When I drank I was in that world of separateness and it was a world of death. When I fall back into my ego thought-system of the “rightness” of my perceived sense of reality, I fall back into that same world of death. I want, now, to be happy and peaceful, not right. Perhaps that’s why so many fundamentalist Christians (or Moslems or Jews) seem always to be so angry and frustrated.

Thanks for listening. As always, feel free to share this message with your friends, family, and those with whom you are walking your spiritual path.

Don

#1 July, 2012

Part 1 - The World of Separateness, Death and of Being Right

When I drank I was in a world of separateness and it was a world of death. When I fall back into my ego thought-system of the “rightness” of my perceived sense of reality, I fall back into that same world of death. Now, I want to be happy and peaceful, not right.

Following an AA meeting this week a good friend and my personal co-sponsor asked me to stay a bit. He told me one of the people he was currently sponsoring just went back out and resumed his drinking. He went on to tell me how difficult it was to communicate with his sponsee.

“He says he’s very spiritual and quotes Bible verses to me all the time. He says he prays to Jesus a lot in addition to reading the Bible, and so he believes he’s very spiritual. I have tried to explain to him that if he’s developed a true spirituality in the AA Program, the desire to drink will be lifted. What do I do, Don?”

I told my friend there is a huge difference between being spiritual and being religious. Being religious is believing in the rituals, practices, cognitive beliefs, and the magical words of the Bible – or the Quran or the Tanakh. I went on to provide my friend with an analogy.

“It’s as if,” I commented, “we had a group of non-AA folks stand outside this room and observe our Big Book meeting. What would they see? They’d watch each of us read a paragraph of one of the stories of recovery in the Big Book  (Alcoholics Anonymous, AA World Service) and then go back around the table offering some comments. They’d go on, perhaps, and conclude: ‘Hey, we could do that. We could get some friends together and read a story and make comments on what the story talked about. That way we won’t become alcoholics.’ We both know that wouldn’t work, don’t we?”

“Right.”

“Why?”

“It’s not what we do.”

“That’s right. It’s not what we do. When we are commenting on the stories, we are not making observations about what the story-teller said. We are commenting about the similarities of our own experiences with the experiences of the writer. As each of us tell our very unique story, triggered by the story in the Big Book, we all understand that, as unique as each of our stories is, they are all the same story. We are not sharing our ideas about the words of the story-teller. We are simply sharing our unique version of the same story. All of our stories are unique, but all of our stories say the same thing.

“This is what I tried to deal with in my book. We read the Bible not to intellectually dissect the words of the author – as if they are something magical. We read the words of the author and find ourselves understanding the experience the author was writing about. We, too, have had that experience and, although we might express it uniquely and differently (because of our different culture, mores, values, and timeframe), it is the same story. We do not read from a letter written by the Apostle Paul to cogitate over his wording. We read one of his letters to understand the marvelous mystery that he had experienced and was now wrestling with how to express that reality in words. We would comment on the marvelous mysteries we’ve experienced, and usually we would find it equally difficult to express in words.

Continued in Part 2 

Part 2 - I Am Not What I Think Nor What I Feel

Continued from Part 1 - I Am Not What I Think Nor What I Feel 

I have said many, many times in these messages I am not a human being in a body that somewhere has a soul or spirit. I am an already-loved eternal spirit currently having a human experience. When my car (my body) finally craps out, I’ll go “back home” and get a different one.

When I share openly and honestly, I share all of me: My ideas; my feelings; my inner knowledge, and my behaviors or actions. At times these are at odds with each other. At other times they are in sync. At times I contradict myself. At times I am pretty much a unified whole. I can be clear on some issues some of the time. I can be befuddled and inconsistent on those same issues at other times.

What I don’t do is tell people I’m right (implying they’re wrong). If I do think I’m right, I always say “This seems right for me.” If I find myself trying to “edit” my voice, it is exactly that. It’s my voice, my opinion, my observation, my perception of reality. I remember the true (for me) adage: un-asked-for advice or opinion is generally received as criticism. So, I don’t offer advice or opinion unless I ask if the hearer wants it. Most of the time, after recognizing I’m trying to “edit” my voice, I remember what ACIM admonishes: “Often, you need say nothing. You need do nothing.” If I say anything at all, I share of my experience. Period. What hearers want to take from that is up to them.

Gentle, open honesty. Walking the Talk – gently, compassionately, honestly – understanding there is not much difference between so-and-so’s concerns, fears, dreams, goals, and desires and mine. That’s how I try to be honest.

There is a term created by Apple Computer way back when they issued their first Macintosh – the little tower (eventually becoming Apples’ Classic computer) with the very small, but brilliantly clear screen. Its software sent to the printer what the user saw on the screen. The term was WYSIWYG – pronounced wizziwig. The acronym stands for What You See Is What You Get. In the mid-1980s it was a revolutionary breakthrough (as was the mouse, common terms for computer commands, and drop-down menus – all Apple innovations).

But, for me, to be honest and share of myself (not simply my ideas or thoughts or feelings) is to share all of me in terms of WYSIWYG. Walking the Talk. Sharing my similar experience. Sometimes, I only manage Limping the Talk or Thinking about the Talk while walking or Totally forgetting the Talk. All of this is who I am. I also try, however, very hard to avoid simply Talking the Talk. When I Talk the Talk, I am hiding me. That does neither of us any good. In fact it is very damaging for me. I have found, as well, that AA’s guidance to me is very true: I am as sick as my secrets.

I don’t want to be sick anymore. So, in gentle honestly, I share who I am in terms of my experience or I say nothing at all.

Thanks for listening. As always, feel free to share this message with your friends, family, and those with whom you are walking your spiritual path.

Don

#4 June, 2012
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Part 1 - I Am Not What I Think Nor What I Feel

Do you have to be a steamroller or a Sherman tank to be really honest?

Following last week’s message, “Are Being Right, Being Happy, And Being Involved All In Conflict With Each Other?” [Msg-3-June-2012], I received a question from another subscriber: “You said you share of yourself honestly. I do not think you were talking about debating ideas or explaining certain concepts. Am I correct? If so, what do you mean by being honest?”

You are correct. I am not talking about sharing cerebral ideas or concepts. What do I mean by being completely honest? Good question!

I have known many people, especially in work situations, that seemingly are not very happy and content. They appear to be very angry, frustrated, wanting to get ahead, or fearful of being at fault. They use a Neanderthal’s club, beating anyone and everyone over the head, all under the auspices of “I’m just being honest – after all tough love can be painful at times.” That’s baloney! To be honest doesn’t mean I have to be as tactless or forceful as a Sherman tank. There is no “rule” that says you cannot be honest with gentleness or respect. Honesty with gentleness is getting a little closer to what I mean by honesty, but it still is in the realm of sharing ideas and concepts. It is an incomplete description of honesty.

The real answer? It is very close to the meaning of what AA calls “Walking the Talk.”

It has taken me a long time to learn that I am not what I think. I am also sure that this learning process will continue until I am no longer in my body. I am not what I think. But if I’m not what I think, then who am I?

Also, I am not what I feel. Feelings aren’t reality. They are not things. They are simply feelings. I am learning to pay attention to my feelings, not as some sort of “Truth,” but as a clue. To use an analogy, if my body is a car and “I” am the owner/driver, then my feelings are dashboard indicators. Am I running too hot? Too low on gas? Are the tires inflated properly? Is the battery being charged okay?  Am I speeding?

My feelings can be a clue that my body needs some food, water, rest, or quiet. My feelings also can be a clue that my ego perception of the world has completely taken over my life at this instant. Am I angry, frustrated, aggravated, retaliatory, judgmental, or critical? That’s not the external stimulus at fault. That’s only my perception of that stimulus. Since my body cannot distinguish between actual or neutral events, my perception of those events, or some other total fantasy I concoct, it reacts equally to everything I think, perceive, and feel. I can drive my body into the ground if I don’t watch out. Trust me, it has happened many times. So, I am not what I feel. But if I’m not what I feel, then who am I?

Continued in Part 2 - I Am Not What I Think Nor What I Feel
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Are Being Right, Being Happy, And Being Involved All In Conflict With Each Other?, Part 2

Continued from Part 1 

What are we to do when it appears that being right, being happy and being involved all seem to be in conflict? Part 2

It seems to me that my issue is about ownership or attachment, as friends at my ACIM meeting continually point out. When my judgment becomes clouded and confused or I find myself angry or frustrated, it’s generally because I am really attached to my perceived rightness or correctness of my personal position – my story; my “superior” experience; my truth; my intellectual beliefs. If I can forgive myself for my attachment to my story or idea, then I can continue to love others even as they seemingly ignore what I’ve shared.

But I do NOT stop sharing myself – honestly and completely!

Jesus ministered to human needs – hunger, sickness, impairment, poverty – because He loved, He cared, and He could. He ministered without judgment or expectations. He shared of Himself and it transformed those whom He touched (figuratively and literally).

Before getting frustrated, angry, or irritated – all signs to me of attachment and ego – I try desperately to stop and:

• ·      Still my mind! (By this I do not try to stop the incessant monkey chatter within the universe that exists between my ears. I simply try to focus elsewhere as the chatter continues).
• ·      Forgive me, my perceptions, and the behaviors or characteristics my perceptions have placed on others.
• ·      Ask the Holy Spirit to provide me another way of looking at the situation – seeing the other as an extension of myself.

So, the line-in-the-sand I draw generally includes teaching. It certainly includes sharing myself. Hence, these messages. It includes accepting responsibility for my self and for those for whom I am responsible – e.g., students, those in a relationship I share, children, good citizenship, reducing my carbon footprint, being part of my environment not simply a user of Mother Gaia.

But my expectations, my own upbringing that laid the foundation of my sense of duty and justice and fairness, and my anticipations can get in my way. I need always to be aware of that. As I concluded last week’s message: “I don’t have to change someone. I don’t have to change things or events. I just have to keep my focus on me and my thoughts. That’s my perceived reality. If I am open, honest and willing, the Holy Spirit will change my perceptions. I can live with that.”

As always, thanks for listening and feel free to share this message with your friends, family, and those with whom you are walking your spiritual path.

Don

#3 June, 2012

Are Being Right, Being Happy, And Being Involved All In Conflict With Each Other?

What are we to do when it appears that being right, being happy and being involved all seem to be in conflict? Part 1

Following last week’s message, “I Don’t Have To Be Right To Be At Peace” [Msg-2-June-2012] I received a pertinent question from a good friend and subscriber. She had been teaching a group of spiritualists for over 3 hours. In an email to me, she asks (and I quote):  “After a very successful 3 hours of teaching I was moved to talk about charlatans in the metaphysical field and how so many are seeking, even as Creflo Dollar [Note: An Evangelical minister who preaches that God’s salvation can be quantified as monetary success] has decided, and is teaching that we are Spiritual Beings having a human experience. I referenced Jim Jones and the kool-aid in his back pocket. I got shouted down that we are all one and if someone gets "taken or mislead" it is part of their path. I thought about that and just can't come to terms that we have no responsibility or due diligence … to warn and give signs to watch for….  We don't tell our children to cross the street without first teaching them to watch for traffic, or not to put their hand on a hot burner without educating them about hot burners. 

“…. Those experiences simply leave me wondering about the rose colored glasses and the ideal world that some are able to create for themselves.”

I have written before in these messages that there is always a conflict within me about the idea that … “We are to be IN this world without being OF this world.” Where I draw the line-in-the-sand between the two is not a once-and-it’s-done event. My line between being in, not of, this world can shift by the hour – depending on the situation, the event, and the people (including me). My perceptions shift that suddenly. I’m sure yours do, too.

I don’t, however, want to try to explain the inner intentions/beliefs of those described by the emailer as wearing “rose colored glasses” or having some “ideal” world they imagine.

The spectrum from being IN the world to being OF the world stretches from the Hindu purist who can watch a baby drown because it is the baby’s Karma, all the way to meddlesome religionists who are trying to control and regiment everyone’s life, because they are convinced they are doing what they perceive is the Will of God.

Most of us are in the muddling middle between these two extremes.

I have learned a very critical spiritual truth getting sober in AA: I share myself and the positive changes that take place in me as I work AA’s Twelve Step Program, understanding that:

• ·      Some listeners will objectify or intellectualize my message without seeing my humanity existing in their own life.
• ·      Some will take my lessons to their hearts.
• ·      Some will be too busy convincing themselves that what’s happened to me is totally irrelevant to them.

That’s the decision of the listener. Regardless of the listeners’ responses, I do NOT NOT share myself – honestly and completely!

Continued in Part 2

I Don’t Have To Be Right To Be At Peace! (Part 2)

Part 2 of 2 - Continued from Part 1

This is exactly where my ego creeps in to make my ACIM meeting its own – to make me its own. Of course others can feel the same feelings I was feeling. They feel them every Sunday in their congregations, synagogues, or mosques. They feel them out in the woods hunting or creek-side fishing. They feel these feelings with family all around or in their private times with only themselves for company.

My own beliefs in ACIM or in the Twelve Steps and Principles of AA can get very twisted very quickly into the “I’m right, you’re wrong (or at least you’re incomplete)” syndrome. Those whose religious beliefs rely on a fear-based theology, a vengeful Old Testament God, and a cherished conviction that they are right and everyone else is wrong can feel the way I was feeling. Those whose political beliefs provide them with a sense of purpose and meaning and “rightness” can feel the way I was feeling. Those of Jewish, Islamic, Buddhist, or Hindu faiths can feel the way I was feeling.

AH-HA – I’m not so superior after all. I’m not really on that much of a higher spiritual plane/path after all. I can get caught up in all the fear, defensiveness, and justification of my thoughts just as quickly as anyone else after all. It’s just a different fear. It’s just a different sense of superiority. But, it’s just as sick and ego-based.

I guess you could construe this as a depressing realization, and I have certainly been down that road. However, it also can be understood as a significant clue that I and my brothers are truly one. And I mean ALL my brothers: Fundamentalist Christian, Islamist, Zionistic Jew, aloof Buddhist, Tea-Party member, rabid progressive, racist, straight, gay.  If I can discipline my mind to see them in me and me in them, then the fear-based barriers that have separated us might be a little more porous – a little more elastic – than I thought. Of course, I cannot control others – but I CAN love them as an extension of myself. They want peace, serenity, calmness, and freedom just as I do. They want justice, change, and understanding, just as I do.

In the final analysis that’s all the Holy Spirit asks of me. I don’t have to change someone. I don’t have to change things or events. I just have to keep my focus on me and my thoughts. That’s my perceived reality. If I am willing, the Holy Spirit will change my perceptions.

I can live with that.

As always, thanks for listening and feel free to share this message with your friends, family, and those with whom you are walking your spiritual path.

Don

#2 June, 2012