I have not prepared a message for this week.
Accept my apologies. We are under the threat of wildfires and my focus has been
on preparing the house and grounds to resist fires as much as possible. It also
has been focused on preparing the “stuff” we will need to take in case we
receive an announcement to evacuate. Of course, we hope it never comes to that.
I received an email today from a very good
friend about remaining peaceful and spiritual in the face of this election
cycle. I am simply going to attach that article for your perusal. It is
wonderfully stated and powerful. It is How
You Can Find the Good in a Nasty Election Cycle by Kelly McGonigal, as
published by Daily Good – News That Inspires.
Although these messages are mostly for me,
thanks for listening to me and getting to know me – warts and all. As always,
feel free to forward this message to your friends, family, and those
accompanying you on your spiritual journey.
Don
#1 Nov 2016
Copyright 2016
How You Can Find the Good in a Nasty Election Cycle by Kelly
McGonigal
Do
you believe that people are basically good?
For
many of us, this election is making that a tougher question than it used to be.
I teach and study compassion. I see the good in others for a living. In fact,
you could say that both my professional niche and my greatest personal refuge
is "finding the good.' And yet, this election is testing my capacity to
trust in basic goodness.
I'm not alone in this struggle. It
seems as though everyone I talk to has a story about a low point in this
election cycle. Many of them are feeling moral distress--that potent
combination of moral outrage, worrying about harm that may be done, and feeling
powerless to do anything about it.
For some, the low point was watching
one of the debates. For others, warnings of a rigged election. For me, it was a
video from the New York Times called "Unfiltered Voices from Donald
Trump's Crowds.' I watched fellow Americans shout [...] Each outburst [derogatory
comments about minorities and the other candidate] seemed to be a euphoric
release, as if the speaker were setting free some previously suppressed self to
say, "Here's who I really am!'
People aren't just frustrated,
irritated, or anxious about whether their candidate is going to win. More than
anything else, this election is eroding social trust. As one of my colleagues
put it, there's a "degradation of our collective sense of common
humanity.' More than one person has told me that as offensive memes flooded
their Facebook feeds, they were left unsure of who their "friends' really
were. Even faith in our democratic system has collapsed. According to a
Politico poll, thirty percent of voters are not confident that their vote will
be counted. The loss of trust doesn't extend just to other Americans. I've
heard from many students and friends who have lost trust in themselves, alarmed
by the depths of their own rage, judgment, and disgust. The election has
revealed a side of themselves they don't recognize, leaving their own basic
goodness in doubt.
I
can't help but wonder: Is it possible that this is who we really are?
Of course, you don't need me to tell
you that this is a stressful election. According to a Harris poll conducted for
the American Psychological Association, 52 percent of American adults say that
the presidential election is a very or somewhat significant source of stress.
For registered voters, that number is even higher--55 percent of registered
Democrats and 59 percent of Republicans. No demographic seems to be spared,
with all ages, genders, races, and ethnicities reporting high levels of
election stress.
While I've seen these statistics cited
by others, most commentaries treat election stress like ordinary, everyday
stress. The American Psychological Association recommends turning off
on Netflix. The Washington Post pointed
readers to emergency election meditations that will help you breathe through
your angst if you get triggered by a Facebook post.
This kind of advice isn't bad if you're
seeking temporary stress relief. But what if your goal is not just to feel
better, but to keep your faith in humanity strong? What if your anxiety isn't
just about you alone, but the well-being of everyone around you?
Because let's be clear: The stress we're
feeling about this election can have profound effects on our individual and
collective well-being. Psychologist Michael Poulin, director of the Stress,
Coping, and Prosocial Engagement lab at the University at Buffalo, NY, has
studied the effect of social trust and mistrust on physical and mental
well-being. In one 2015 study of adults in 87 countries, agreeing with the
statement "Most people can be trusted' was consistently linked to greater
life satisfaction, happiness, and health. In contrast, mistrust was universally
linked to distress and poor health.
UCLA stress researcher Steve Cole has
found that social trust can even affect mental and physical health through
changes in gene expression. People's responses to statements like "People
are basically good' and "Our society is a good place, or is becoming a
better place, for all people' are linked to genetic profiles that can either
protect against, or increase the risk
of, everything from depression to heart disease. As social trust goes down,
proinflammatory genes become upregulated, and risk goes up. This election may
be changing us at a cellular level, creating what Cole calls a "molecular
memory' of moral distress.
Moral distress is no ordinary stress,
and preserving social trust requires more than just taking a bath, watching
comedies, or even meditating. Rather than turn to the usual stress-reduction
strategies of distraction and self-soothing, it's important to recognize what
makes this election's stress so toxic--and what we can do to turn that poison
into good medicine. For ourselves, and for
others.
This requires more than mindfulness. It
calls for heartfulness--the courage to stay engaged, with an open heart and a
determination to hold onto your faith in what connects us. In this spirit, I
offer three strategies for transforming moral distress into moral courage,
moral elevation, and compassion.
1.
Do something
· More on Stress & Politics
· Joshua Greene explains how to close the gap between
"us" and "them." Find out how to talk with your kids about
Donald Trump.
· Learn about what research into power tells us about
Hillary Clinton.
·
Jeremy Adam Smith
explains how science helps us find the good in ourselves and humanity. Kelly
McGonigal reveals how stress can bring people together.
Think about what matters most to you in
this election. Then, if you are eligible, vote. Vote whether you
think your individual
vote matters or
not. Vote strategically, vote
your _______ Do not fall prey to what
compassion researchers call "psuedoinefficacy'--the sense that because you
can't do everything by yourself, that nothing you do matters. Nobody's
individual vote matters. That's not how voting works. Your vote matters as part
of a collective. Ask yourself, "What if nobody like me, who cares about what
I care about, voted in this election?'
If you don't like the answer to that question, vote. If you aren't eligible to
vote, volunteer.
Now extend this mindset of collective
participation to any action you can take that is in line with your deeply held
values. You don't have to do it all. As you take committed action, look around.
Notice that you are not alone. This is bigger than you. And also, it needs you.
This is how you practice moral courage.
2.
Look for the good
Are there destructive forces as well as
virtue in all of us? Yes, of course. That's the complexity of human nature. But
this election has obscured the latter while highlighting the former. For your
mental health, you need to restore some balance. One antidote to moral distress
is moral elevation: witnessing the good in others.
How do you find the good? One resource
I've turned to is NPR's Storycorps. Since the summer, they've been
sharing
a
weekly
series
of
audio
and
video
stories
called
#WhoWeAre. As Storycorps describes it, #WhoWeAre is "a series of real-life
stories told by everyday Americans that speak to our best selves. Stories that
amplify love over hate and empathy over fear. Stories that build bridges of
understanding between people and help us recognize our shared humanity.'
Research shows that stories like this
don't just make us feel better--they also help us feel awe, gratitude, and
self-transcendence. One 2015 study found that watching a video that inspired
moral elevation increased feelings of common humanity and connection to others,
including members of so-called "out groups.' Another study found that for
people suffering from depression, moral elevation increased their hope and
reduced their sadness, anxiety, and loneliness.
How else can you give yourself the good
medicine of moral elevation? In everyday life, look for, notice, and appreciate
acts of virtue. Make it a goal to witness compassion, character, and courage.
When you do, savor the feeling of being uplifted. Be present for the
experience. Let it soak into your cells and remind your DNA that there is good
in the world. Tell the story to someone else, so that it might inspire them.
3. Be the good
· Practices for Compassion
· Learn loving-kindness meditation.
· Try letting go of anger through compassion. Discover
how to cultivate a sense of shared identity.
· Look for ways to make an immediate difference in your
community. Be the source point of themselves. Your impact may be far greater
than you imagine.
I'm currently teaching a Science of
Compassion course, and last week's assignment was to share a story of a time
you received or witnessed compassion. One thing that struck me, as I read story
after story, is how much opportunity there is in everyday life to change
someone else's experience with relatively little investment. Doing so can hold
meaning for that person far beyond what we would imagine when we made the
gesture.
Some of my students shared stories from
decades ago. The acts of kindness were so small, they might barely have
registered in the do-gooder's consciousness. One such story involved nothing more than letting a young
woman skip the line for a restroom. Another example was a driver who slowed
down to ask a stranger if she was OK after falling on the sidewalk. One student
described having an upsetting cell phone conversation while waiting for a
train. After he hung up, a stranger boarding the train said to him, "I
really hope your day gets better.' Students wrote about how they would recall
experiences like these when they wanted to restore their faith in humanity, or
feel renewed by strength and hope.
I'm also in the middle of teaching an
eight-week compassion meditation course at Stanford Hospital, and next week's
lesson is on common humanity. The meditation practice we'll be learning is
simple: Contemplate the human being or group who is triggering your judgment,
disgust, anger, fear, or contempt, and remind yourself, "Just like me,
this person wishes to be happy and free from suffering. In this way, we are no different.'
If you've been distressed by this
election, remember that you aren't alone. There are countless others who also
feel that despair. When you remember this, decide to be the antidote to someone
else's moral distress. In ways you may never know, your small acts of kindness
could reverberate in the lives of others long past this election cycle.
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