I received quite a lot of
comments on last week’s post (Msg-3-April- 2013, Why Do I Love To Hate Haters?)
– understanding that my “hate” for the hateful acts of the Boston terrorists
made me no different than they. I really thank all those who wrote me to
describe how they coped or how they felt.
The underlying meaning from all these
comments seemed to ask the question:
“Don, how can you possibly equate your anger (or your self) with that of
the terrorists? “
All I can see with my own
physical ego-eyes is my own reflection. The meaning of what I “see” is
determined by my mindset or inner beliefs. No matter what my eyes see, my
feelings are determined by what my mind decides is real. According to ACIM,
“…the mind is so powerful that it is the cause of everything it feels. Our
feelings are produced by our internal beliefs, not be external circumstances.”
[Robert Perry, Path of Light, Circle
Publishing, 2004, p. 58]
We cannot truly perceive all by
ourselves. “Right now we live in a state of perception,
in which we try to know a reality that is frustratingly outside ourselves. We
can only see this reality through the plate-glass window of our physical senses
and mental interpretations – a window that is anything but clear. In the end
this window functions more like a mirror. Rather than seeing reality, we end up
seeing the reflection of our own state of mind…. We are not going to bring [perception]
to the surface by ourselves, however. We need help in order to see truly. The
reason goes back to the mirror-like nature of perception. It is as if we are
trapped in a bubble with a reflective interior surface. Everywhere we turn all
we see is the reflection of our own state of mind. We think we are looking on
reality, yet instead we are merely seeing our own belief system in picture
form.” [Ibid. pp. 92; 95]
We’ve all had experiences where
what we see is determined by what mood we’re in and, therefore, what it is
we’re looking for or “seeing.” Two people can be standing side-by-side in a
parking lot after shopping in a large store. One can be in a wonderful mood,
seeing the “joy of shopping” all around. The other can be in bad mood for
whatever reason. The joyous person will see happy people walking back to their
cars, laughing, excited, and extending helping hands to strangers trying to
negotiate packages into back seats. The frustrated person will focus on the
people vying for a parking spot, angry with a slow “backer-outer,” all the
money spent on “junk” made (presumably) in China, racing to leave, cutting each
other off at the exit.
Our insides determine what it is
we see. If I don’t like what I’m looking at, I take a peek inside me. With the
events in Boston it took me several days for the whisper of the Holy Spirit to
get through to me: “Don, you’re doing the same thing. Thinking the same
thoughts. Remember what you learned in AA? Sick thoughts are just as
destructive as sick actions.”
Please understand, I’m not
absolving these two young men for what they did. I’m not trying to gloss over
the horrible nature of their actions. I am trying to communicate that hatred is
hatred. Fear is fear. Anger is anger. Being mean-spirited is being
mean-spirited.
True, most of us would not
physically pack a pressure cooker with nails and BBs to try to maim strangers.
However, most of us, I believe, would let these strong negative feelings
fester. We would then externalize them – blaming others for our having these
feelings. We would lash out at a clerk. We would snap at our children. We would
be exceptionally critical of our spouse or significant other. We would continue
to see the awful, “evil,” greedy pettiness in people all around us. In short, we
would explode small emotive bullets wherever we went. No bleeding bodies, true,
but leaving clumps of emotional carnage behind, nevertheless.
I don’t see much difference
between the two. Neither does A Course in Miracles (ACIM).
If you’ve learned to be afraid
of people with different colored skins or who wear different kinds of clothes
or who eat different kinds of food – then all people of color or different
dress will be interpreted by you as being dangerous. We have learned to be
wary, be diffident, be cautious, be untrusting. It’s prejudice. It’s bigotry.
It’s fear.
Someone else might see people of
color and people who dress differently as interesting: with different customs,
different habits, different cuisines, different music and arts – and all of that
may excite them and stimulate their curiosity. That, in turn, will drive them to want
to see, taste, experience more of these “differences.”
In either case – our perceptions
are interpreted by our inner mindset, our inner beliefs.
My favorite quote from Earnie
Larsen, which I’ve mentioned in other posts, is very apt here: “What you live
with you learn. What you learn you practice. What you practice you become. What
you become has consequences.” [Earnie Larsen, Stage II Recovery, Harper & Row Publishers, 1985, p. 30]
The consequences of the two
young men in Boston were exploding homemade bombs. My consequence was a hateful
attitude. Both sets of consequences were distinctly unloving, unkind, and very
destructive. I'm still a work in progress.
Although these messages are
mostly for me, thanks for listening. As always – feel free to forward this
message to your friends, family, and those accompanying you on your spiritual
journey.
Don
#4 April, 2013
Copyright, 2013
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