At our recent Course in Miracles
(ACIM) group the discussion centered around one of the profound Truths in the
Course: Namely, change my perception and the world I see changes. When I think
depressing dark thoughts, I’ll see a depressing dark world. When I think
thoughts of love, acceptance and oneness I’ll see a world chock-full of love
and oneness. A dark fearful world does not make me feel at peace. A world full
of light, tolerance and acceptance does.
Why, then, do I continue to
think fearful, dark, defensive thoughts?
Answer: Because I think
aggressive fear and angry thoughts, I have trained myself to expect attacks,
aggression, fear, and anger. Okay, then why don’t I begin to retrain myself to
think thoughts of oneness, forgiveness, acceptance and love?
Is it really that simple? Retrain
myself.
Yes, it really is that simple
because the Holy Spirit only asks that I be willing to really see the world as
He does. He’ll do the rest for me. I know this to be true because I’ve
experienced it first hand, although I didn’t have the language of ACIM at my
disposal then.
As I began my recovery in
Alcoholics Anonymous I hadn’t “officially” said to God, “I am very willing to
see Your world differently because I can no longer tolerate the world I see and
have been trying to escape through the use of vodka.” All I had actually said
(and meant!) was “I can’t do this anymore.” That was enough. I still thank the
good Lord and His Grace for the openness and willingness I began with as I
started AA’s suggested program of recovery. Instead of fighting and resisting
and analyzing this simple Twelve-Step Program, I embraced it and all its
recommendations.
If the old-timers said “Jump!” I
might have asked “How high?” but I jumped. I didn’t think about it. I didn’t
ponder it. I simply jumped. I had never done that before.
And…
I began to get better.
Early in my recovery – perhaps
90 days along – someone suggested I stop wondering why others seemed to be
having a hard time with this or that Step or suggestion. “They ought to be
“this-ing” or “that-ing,” I would comment after a meeting. Their suggestion was
that I begin keeping track of all the oughts, shoulds, woulds, coulds, why-aren’ts,
and why-ares that I was thinking. It didn’t matter whether I was thinking about
someone in the Program, politicians, or thinking about my own behavior. “All
those are judgment words,” I was told. Try to stop doing that. It was also suggested
I stop apologizing for everything that came up. “Stop saying ‘I’m sorry,’ all
the time.” If someone says they’re having a bad day, say “I regret….” Rather
than “I’m sorry …” unless I had really
done or said something I needed to apologize for.
So, I did just that. I began
keeping track of the judgment words I was using or thinking. I started saying I
regret rather than I’m sorry. That’s all I remember doing. And I changed. I
wasn’t aware of it, but others were and said so. God bless ‘em. I needed that
feedback.
As I became more and more
conscious of my use of judgment words, I began to soften around the edges. I
began to curtail the use of my tongue and pen. I began to focus on the people
in front of me rather than parsing what they said through the filters of my
internal (and perfect!) logic. I began seeing more and more of myself in them.
As I stated, I softened.
Although I no longer jot down
the times I use judgment words, I still use feedback. I remember, recently,
after railing to a friend about all the myopic bigotry that seems to exist in
our politics, he said, “You really enjoy hating those who hate, don’t you?”
BAM! I am a work in progress.
I remember a woman who would say
quite often, “I used to think only in black and white. Everything and everyone
(including myself) was right or wrong, good or bad, wise or foolish,
appropriate or stupid. Then I began to see myself and everyone else in shades
of gray. Now, I’m beginning to see in pastels. It’s quite beautiful. I am quite
beautiful. You are quite beautiful.”
That pretty much sums it up.
As perception changes, reality
changes. If I don’t like what I see, I don’t try to change what’s out there. I
don’t try to change you. I try to change me by asking the Holy Spirit for help
in seeing things differently. To help things along I am willing to try to do
things differently, as well – like keeping track of my judgment words.
Although these messages are
mostly for me, thanks for listening. As always – feel free to forward this
message to your friends, family, and those accompanying you on your spiritual
journey.
Don
#3 May 2015
Copyright 2015
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