One of the earliest lessons I
began to understand in A Course in Miracles (ACIM) was the concept of NOW.
I had come to believe that NOW
is always; Now is eternal. I believed that is what Jesus meant when He said, according
to the Gospel accounts:
“The constant theme of his message – sometimes in sayings,
sometimes in parables, sometimes in works of healing and attending remarks –
was to proclaim the ’good news’: The kingdom of God is at hand. Repent. Quit
looking ‘out there’ as the source of your problems or the source of your
solutions. Look inside you. The Kingdom is already there and has always been
there. The Kingdom is now, and now is always eternal. Just as leaven is
invisible, yet changes the nature of dough, the Kingdom of God in your heart
will change your perception of reality….”
[Donald O’Dell, How the Bible became
the Bible, Infinity Publishing, 2007, p. 118.]
Because that was my understanding,
the essential message of Eckhart Tolle, (The Power of Now) resonated
immediately with me. What I learned in AA also reinforced the concept of NOW.
Do not take a drink TODAY (not next week or all year long). Take life 24 hours
at a time. It’s not an old behavior if I continue doing it.
But, what do I do about my past?
I remember things from my past. Events of NOW remind me of the past. Sometimes
I try to duplicate past events in order to repeat experiences that have led to
very fond memories. But ACIM tells me there is no past. It says: “The one true
thing I know about the past is that it is not here.” [WP1-8.2:1]There is only
the present. NOW. In my ego-mind of sequential time, there is a past, the
present, and the future. But in ACIM-reality there is only NOW.
This troubled me, but I am
growing in my understanding.
I have begun to grasp the false
illusion my ego continues to bombard me with. “Of course,” it says. “There is a
past. Donnie, you can avoid bad results or repeat pleasant ones by looking at
your past experiences.” I am learning to
understand that bringing tinted filters of the past, then placing them over my
current perception, always colors the present I am focusing on. By remembering
the past it has become my ego-mind’s present because I’m thinking about it NOW.
Quite often I’m not merely remembering it, but I’m reliving it. All over again I
feel the joy, satisfaction, pain, fear, dread, or disappointment. Within the
6-inch universe that exists between my ears my past has become my NOW.
It’s always NOW! I’m either
living in the present or I’m reliving the past AS my present.
I remember interviewing a
candidate for an analyst’s position in my organization at Blue Cross/Blue
Shield of Texas. I asked him to describe the kind of work he did during the 9
years at his current company. He explained how the company operated on an
annual cycle – monthly and quarterly financial audits and reports with an
annual summary, trends and analysis. I then asked him to explain how each year
was different from each other. He didn’t understand my question. I clarified by
asking him to explain why he thought he had 9 years of experience rather then
one year’s experience he had repeated 8 times. He got angry and terminated the
interview.
I certainly didn’t understand –
then – how profound my comment really was. I certainly didn’t understand how to
apply that comment to myself. I didn’t understand how that concept applied to
the reality of my financial difficulties, whether I was earning $13,000 per
year, or $30,000, or $80,000. It took another 8 years for me to hit my
financial and booze bottom and begin my recovery in AA.
This week I had a tiff with my
spouse. I had brought up a tinted filter from my past and it colored the
perception I had of the actual event. I reacted (not responded) to my tinted
perception and it hurt her. So, I correct my error, try to learn from it, and
try to move on – forgiving both myself and the perceptions I have projected on
her.
AA taught me to use the Tenth
Step – “When we were wrong, promptly admitted it….” ACIM tells me in every
encounter with another the Holy Spirit will work to correct my perception of
events – to help me see things through Christ eyes. [T-8.III.4:1-5] These can
be gracious, open, loving encounters or they can be ugly, petty, hurtful
encounters. The Holy Spirit will use all my good/bad/ugly encounters to help me
grow spiritually by continuing to begin to perceive things differently.
As painful as it may be, what a
blessing!
Although these messages are
mostly for me, thanks for listening. As always – feel free to forward this
message to your friends, family, and those accompanying you on your spiritual
journey.
Don
#2 May, 2013
Copyright, 2013
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