In response to last week’s post
– My Illusions Are the Way I Look at the World [Msg-4-Jan-2013] – I received
the following from a subscriber:
Dear Don! That is a lot
of food for thought...we humans are sure full of potholes aren't we? But
you are not saying all "folders" are wrong are you? If we were
to decide that someone would rock our boat a little in a negative way and
decide it is best to avoid them, is that a perception we should try to change
or modify, in maybe a less sanctimonious way, and still avoid them? It
seems like it is human nature, as well as in the rest of the animal kingdom, to
avoid something that is threatening - based on our perception. Thanks for
making me think!
The subscriber raises two very
legitimate concerns: How real or true are the folders we create to categorize
people; How to avoid unpleasant or threatening situations or people.
Several weeks ago I discussed
Shared Illusions or Race (as in Human) Thinking. For example, some have suggested
that the “fight or flight” responses that humans possess are mimicked behaviors
of the animal kingdom. After some 300,000+ years, we have come to believe these
mimicked behaviors are “natural” or “instinctive” responses. Additionally, we
now have come to believe that to become “civilized” is to have overcome these
more “base” emotional responses. “After all,” we say, “emotions are indicators,
not dictators” because we no longer have to live in the kind of survival mode
our very elderly ancestors had to face. Fight or flight has become one of the
basic folders most human beings have.
The reality, however, according
to ACIM is that we are not human beings. We are already-loved eternal spirits.
We are simply having a human experience as part of an overall bad dream. And,
yes, according A Course in Miracles, all
our folders are in error because they come from our ego. It doesn’t matter how
“right” you think you are or how “wrong” you think others are. Your folders are
from your ego and, therefore, the world those folders represent exists only in
your mind. You are the one ascribing meaning to your world. Others could be
ascribing another meaning to their world. I, like you, have an entire universe
of meaning that exists in the 6-inch space between my ears. That “meaning” of
mine is not reality. Yet, I treat it as such. I use it constantly to provide
meaning, purpose, confirmation, and justification for the person I have
convinced myself I truly am. All this kind
of thinking is ego-centric nonsense according to the Course.
ACIM states: “You perceive the
world and everything in it as meaningful in terms of your ego goals. These
goals have nothing to do with your own best interests because the ego is not
you. This false identification makes you incapable of understanding what
anything is for…. At the most superficial levels, you do recognize purpose.…
For example, you do understand that a telephone is for the purpose of talking
to someone who is not physically in your immediate vicinity. What you do not
understand is what you want to reach him for. And it is this that makes your
contact with him meaningful or not.” [W.L.25.2:1-3; 4: 2-6]
What makes this lesson so
difficult for me is the same mental block that occurred to me while I was
getting sober and working AA’s suggested Twelve Steps. In AA we recited the
Serenity Prayer – which I’m sure you’re familiar with: “God grant me the
serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things
I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
What can’t I change? What can I change? I understood pretty quickly that
I can’t change people, places, or things. Well, what’s left? What I finally
learned was the only thing I could possibly change or control – at least
sometimes – was my attitude.
The first time I experienced
that was a 2-week span that was really hell for me. I was about 18 months sober
at the time. My boss at work, a Pakistani Hindu who believed employees were
simply a resource to be used and discarded was driving me nuts. My car, a tri-toned
(silver-gray-rust) Toyota station wagon I had nicknamed “The Gray Goose,” was
on the fritz. Sometimes it would start and sometimes it wouldn’t. It also
seemed it would never start on those mornings when I couldn’t afford to be
late. There appeared to be little rhyme or reason for its behavior. The blower
motor in my condo’s HVAC unit, like the car, was intermittently erratic. I was
having severe issues with the woman I had been dating.
My sponsor kept telling me to
keep my eye on the target – my daily usefulness to my program and to THE
Program. “First Things First.” I was able to change my attitude by changing my
focus – concentrating on my real mission in life – to stay sober and help other alcoholics
achieve sobriety. I cannot take credit for this change in attitude. However, I
discovered when my attitude changed my universe changed! My boss got better.
Problems got handled: The Gray Goose needed spark plug wires; the condo fan
blower simply needed a loose wire tightened. My relationship got better and
finally ended on a friendly note.
By changing my focus and
concentration, I got better, and my universe got better. It was always a
miracle to me when this occurred. It still is! And it is still very difficult
to communicate. You can read about my difficulty in Chapter 9, as I try to
communicate my spiritual transformation, which A Course in Miracles (ACIM) says
is really beyond words.
It seems ludicrous to believe
that I created/invented/dreamed the world I see. How can that be? Am I really
that powerful? But as I thought about it more, it began to be a source of hope
rather than a ridiculous idea. If I haven’t invented the world I see, then I am
like a Styrofoam cup being tossed about in an ocean storm. I am at the mercy of
an erratic world. If I invented this world I see, then can I “un-invent” it?
ACIM says, “Yes! But not by myself.” All I need to do is be willing – honestly
willing – to want to see the world differently and the Holy Spirit will take
care of the rest.
The second issue raised is how
to avoid situations. This is the contradictory area in which we all live. Yes,
we are spirits who have created the meaning we attribute to the world we
perceive, but we are also here and have to deal with this “world” as best we
can. I have often said we are “to be in the world but not of the world.” To do
that is a very individual set of decisions made on a daily basis about all
sorts of situations. There are no right or wrong answers as long as we are not
attached to the outcome.
I cannot order my ego to “will”
itself away, so I’m trying to change my “story.” I am trying to change how I
think about me. Yes, it’s still my ego thinking, but it is moving me to look at
my attitudes and assumptions that have created the meanings I have ascribed to
my world and to the attachments I have. It is helping me keep myself open and
willing to see things differently rather than constantly defending my
“positions.”
Although these messages are
mostly for me, thanks for listening. As always – feel free to forward this message
to your friends, family, and those accompanying you on your spiritual journey.
Don
#1 February, 2013
Copyright, 2013
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